Here's the link to the majority of my thoughts today. Not very constructive but that's where I am today.
Not much to say today. Annie and I made brownies. It was all fun and games until she discovered that she was actually stirring chocolate. Before I could stop her, she scooped a big handful of raw brownie mix up and crammed it in her mouth. Then, of course, she started screaming about her hands being dirty! Wow!
I rode the emotional roller coaster for the majority of the day. I'm ready to be done with this ride. I'm getting motion sick. I swear someone keeps adding more upside down loops to this ride!
The rest of the day consisted of me taking dinner to a friend, receiving dinner from a friend, watching Dasha lick her arms and hands as she watched a movie and then gnaw on a wooden toy spoon. I feel like she's slipping away and I don't know what to do. The camp counselor told me that she'd gotten sort of possessive of the male music teacher. I didn't think too much of it. She likes music. She likes attention - especially from men. However, she asked if she could write him a, "Thank you," note to take to him tomorrow. I didn't see it as a problem until she wrote in it that she wanted to marry him and live "happily ever after." Crap. I can't do this! I didn't sign up to do this alone! I don't have answers and I don't have the man-power to chase from doctor to doctor and it's not the responsibility of my friends to have to do it either. Ha! Last night, I got to such a point that I called a friend and told her to prepare for Dasha to be an overnight guest. I can make assumptions and predictions all day long about what's going on in her mind but I also have to maintain my own sanity. I just need someone to stop the roller coaster for a few minutes and let me get off, have a major break down without affecting anyone but myself, and then I'll be glad to get back on the ride again. To add to the stress, Grant is still in the woods with storm warnings issued and predictions of hail, damaging winds, and flooding. I don't have any contact with him and haven't had any since Sunday afternoon. The Scoutmaster simply sent an email saying that there were lots of "homesick" boys but they'd "survive." That sure makes me sleep a little better tonight.
I have one child dreaming of marrying the music teacher (and then possibly stabbing him with a paper clip), one stranded in the woods with 500 other boys, and one that has decided that sleeping is optional and won't stay in her bed through the night. This is perfect. I do appreciate all of the offers for help but, sometimes, you just don't want outsiders coming inside. The materials are too volatile and hearts are too broken.
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