Afternoon musings...

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. . . . Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit" (Psalm 147:3, 5)

A crash helmet. That's what I need. To think that God knew when I was five years old and learning to drive this go-cart (while Dad kept shouting, "Brake," and I kept pushing the gas) that I'd be in this exact spot in my life today. There's that darn human part that wants to think, "Why can't He just snap his fingers and fix this mess?" But, the other part of me knows that life journeys just don't work that way. Life is NOT a choose your own adventure book. I can guarantee you that I would have trashed this book a long time ago! Every adventure I choose seems to end up in shambles!

Up with a feverish baby most of the night. Grant was piled in bed on one side of me and Annie on the other. Up every two hours alternating Motrin and Tylenol and requests for water and then separate requests for water with ICE! I'm physically tired but my mental capacities are spent. My mental wheels spun all night. At one point, I fought the urge to spray WD40 into my ears to lubricate the wheels so I might be able to fall asleep and ignore the squeaking and grinding of steel.

Anyway, we all finally crawled from the rubble about 8:00 this morning and I started trying to clean up with a whining feverish toddler clinging to me and two older kids darting from room to room trying to stay under the radar. Why is it so important for me to clean the house up for him? Do I want him to believe that things stay perfectly in place and spotless despite three children running around? Sometimes I really wonder what motivates my actions. (Kind of scary that I can't answer my own questions)! When I started biting children's heads off because I wanted them cleaning instead of watching TV, I realized I'd reached my boiling point and I needed to release the pressure valve before I really lost it. I gave up on cleaning and fixed lunch.

Currently, one child is folding laundry. One is sleeping in my bed with Annie (fever spiked again). And I am about to make myself a cup of tea and read through some of my favorite craft blogs. There's not a darn thing wrong with sitting still and relaxing OR letting him see the house and yard for what it is - a mess!