Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.
Proverbs 20:11
Today, there weren't any real revelations in my life other than realizing that my plan to tire the children out so they'd all fall into bed tonight did the same thing to me ten-fold! Here's kind of what the plan looked like...
6:30 - Stash Annie in the bed with me when she woke up and let her watch at least one episode of Dora before making me crawl from under the covers. I even planned ahead and put a cup of milk next to my bed so she wouldn't immediately scream for that! OK, I admit that I dozed off and woke her to her saying, "What doing, Mama? Open eyes?" She's moved all of her blankets, books, and lovies from her room onto my bed. Oops!
9:00 - Everyone headed to the gym. Girls go to Kidz Klub. Grant and I go do something mildly intense which won't stress my sprained buttocks! (I'm not kidding! I'm still suffering from my treadmill fumble! I asked Grant to kiss it better but he ran screaming from the room)! Before he got onto the treadmill, I warned him NOT to jump off no matter what kind of text message he got! They say hindsight is always 20/20! Duh!
10:00 - Pick the girls up. Nursery worker explained that Annie had jumped from every conceivable location in the kids' area and eventually landed on her nose resulting in some pretty nasty road rash right down the middle of her face. I don't know if the worker was relieved or shocked when I simply chuckled and said, "At least there's no blood involved." Any bets on that worker's reaction to me tomorrow? She'll probably run and hide in a corner when she sees us coming!
10:30 - Pool. Why does Annie hate the pool? Every other member of this family loves to swim. Annie, on the other hand, detests having water in or around her face. She wraps her feet and arms around you and clings tight like those little red-butted monkey babies do to their mamas when you see them on TV. To top the pool visit off, Dasha took two Barbies along to play with. Of course, one of them is naked. Why is it that they can paint panties on Barbies but not bras? It doesn't make any sense! Anyway, Dasha was making the Barbies swing around the metal pole at the stairs into the pool. She proclaimed, "Look, Barbie is a stripper!" What???? From Grant, I would have been mildly amused and then given him THE LOOK which means, "I'm laughing on the inside but knock it off before I knock you out!" That look still doesn't register with Dasha. I about drown myself and Annie trying to get across the pool and shush her before she made the proclamation again. I asked her what made her think that and she proceeded to tell me that some girls had been swinging around one of the poles on the playground at school and said they were strippers. Perfect! She didn't even understand what it meant. I diverted her away from the steps AND the pole and encouraged Grant to play a game with her. They decided to toss the Barbies and dive for them, expect Barbie doesn't sink. I'd already figured her buoyancy had something to do with her bosoms but Grant quickly offered up another reason. With a very serious look on his face, he simply said, "Blond air-heads!" At least his train of thought led him to believe Barbie was floating due to her hollow head and didn't follow the same train into the gutter that I had! I quickly gave him THE LOOK and decided to crawl out of the pool with my baby monkey still attached to me and take the other joker monkeys home, too. (As I looked back toward the pool on the way to the van, I saw mothers huddled over their children covering their ears as we left and looking at us as if we were crazy! OK, maybe it wasn't that bad but folks just don't understand that I've got my hands a bit full right now)!
11:30 - Lunch. Annie demands mac n' cheese. I obey peaceably. By 11:30, I was too tired to argue with her. At lunch, Grant got very quiet and then asked what would happen if you ate a whole tube of Mentos and then drank diet Coke? Um, no more Myth Busters for him! I tried to scare him into thinking that his stomach might explode from the pressure but he quickly reminded me of all of the "pressure valves" the human body has. I'm hoping he doesn't try this. (What would happen? I'd never thought about the implications of that sort of chemical reaction inside your body. I know I gave Eric Alka-Seltzer once when his stomach didn't feel well and he just puked violently. Hopefully, that would be the extent of the experiment)!
12:00 - N A P time!
Things sort of disintegrated from this point on. Dasha has decided that stretching is optional even though she's staggering around and tripping everywhere. When I forced a stretching session (I started off trying to make if fun), she decided to exude 13 year old attitude and gave me a peace of her mind. Then, I battled Annie about a number of various requests such a using her drum sticks to beat the french door like a drum and drinking out of the sippy cup I'd already prepared instead of making her own choice and dirtying up another cup. And, for the finale, I had to demand that Grant clean his room. The boy's idea of cleaning translates into making piles in new areas of his room. I lost count of how many ways he tried to procrastinate. I started to tell him to forget it knowing that he'd be gone for the weekend on a camping trip and then I'd just do it to my liking, however, I know that doesn't do anything to heighten my parental prowess so I just let him whine. I still haven't gone to inspect the final product. I think I'm the one procrastinating now!
Tomorrow, we'll do it all again PLUS run errands. This should be great fun - kind of like getting your eyebrows tweezed or waxed OFF!
Good night!
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