Grant's World

As I began uploading all of our history, I realized that I'd left out a lot about our "little" Grant. Grant is the resident comic, reader, military master, and martial arts guru! I'd have to say that he has his daddy's aptitude for details but his mama's emotions and tender heart - look out! He is definitely wise beyond his years! He's also my dad's "mini me!" From their looks to their mannerisms, they are identical. For Grant's sake, I hope he doesn't turn out to be as hairy as my dad, though! Yuck! Grant's new found talent is video taping his G.I. Joes in realistic battle scenes. He spends hours setting up his guys and then taping them fighting or doing whatever little plastic army men do - other than getting their guns hung in the vacuum cleaner! Many times, you can hear war cries resonating throughout our house as the Joes battles Barbie and her team! Yikes! Grant's Joes don't mind taking on the girls when things get nasty, though! Just between the adults, I'm not so sure how well Barbie would do in a real battle with her special "dimensions." Legos are Grant's other forte! I guess this goes back to his detailed-ness. The kid can assemble a Lego set in under an hour (without an engineering degree)! Eric and I still stand astounded when he rips a box open and reappears from his room with a completed project. Wow!

Pray for Emily

Most of you that have known us for any time know about "Uncle" Jay and "Aunt" Emily. Jason and Eric worked at Chick-fil-A together and did that crazy bachelor pad thing during their college years. I wonder if they ever were able to rent that apartment after those boys left? Anyway, Ansley's middle name was Jaye after Jason - that should tell you his importance in Eric's life. Jason married Emily the week before Ansley passed away. They left their honeymoon early to be with us in our time of need. I'll never forget their "charge" of finding Grant clothes to wear to the funeral. I still giggle at the remembrance of Jason talking about "sacking" Grant up in a pair of pants trying to figure out what size a 3 year old wore! Anyway, Jason's wife, Emily, has struggled with CF for years. She's been on the lung transplant list for a year now. Last night, they got their 5th call about a prospective set of lungs.

At 7:30ish CST this morning, Emily was prepped for lung transplant surgery. As of 10:00 pm CST, Emily has a new pair of lungs! Please continue to pray with us for Emily, her family, and all of her friends that are with her. Eric is in Birmingham with Jason, as well. The next few days will be very critical. She's doing well and actually joking with the nursing staff. Although she's on a respirator, they're weaning her off and will possibly have her completely off by tomorrow. You can see Emily's journey through her own blog spot listed in my links.

Fast forward to 2008

OK - I think I've caught everyone up to speed on the past so let's move on.

October 2007 - My sister got married and Grant and Dasha were part of the wedding. I can't tell you how painful it was to keep them clean for an entire hour!!!

For Christmas 2007, Eric was handed a pink slip. Yeah, Merry Christmas - surprise! Thank goodness there's always going to be a need for teachers. I think it takes a minimum of duct tape and a Sharpie marker to get a pink slip for teachers! In March, Eric started working with Ignite, a gas company out of Texas, part-time. In May, he was hired on with another PR company out of Texas. However, after six months of living on one income, we've been very careful about our finances. It took us many long years to climb out of debt after Ansley's death and we're not interested in going back there!

SO, after six months on one income, a summer vacation was NOT in our future. However, one of my student's parents offered the use of their condo in Panama City for a few days. What a blessing!

Here's the top three list of ridiculous things that were said on this three day adventure...

1) From the GPS - "You're not on a road, you're not on a road, you're not on a road!"
From Grant - "We are on the road. What's wrong with that thing?"

(I kept waiting for the GPS to say, "I quit! Why do you bother to turn me on when you don't listen to me?")

2) From me - "Look honey, isn't that sweet! Look at that little old man cuddling with his wife!"
From Eric - "Whatever, the PILL will wear off in 36 hours. He's gotta move fast!"

3) From Dasha - "Where's my vase?"

From all - "Huh?"
From Dasha - "You know, my pink vase!"
After much discussion, Eric figured out that she wanted her pink VEST! We're still learning
Russin-glish!

We had a great time and only had one person go MIA in the Gulf. Poor Shipwrecked (GI Joe) was swept out to sea for a burial. Oops!

Randolph History 202: Metamorphasis

Dasha started kindergarten with Grant in January of 2006. Wow! Thank goodness for teachers with patience! On Dasha's first day, she was still "toe-walking" and needed constant supervision when moving around. She also didn't' know any English but refused to speak to anyone in Russian now that she was "American." Talk about one determined little girl! Anyway, she worked on learning the language and functioning in a classroom environment. We were completely surprised at how different her "institutional" life had been than her life here where she had choices and her own stuff! She'd never been in a classroom environment before and things that we take for granted like staying in the classroom, had to be taught and re-taught! Her teacher and full-time para pro helped her navigate this new culture and life style!

In March of 2006, Dasha had surgery to lengthen her tendons. Although the surgery was out patient, it was life-changing for Dasha. She'd never been able to walk on flat feet before and balanced on her tippy toes. After the surgery, she could walk flat footed. (She could also run, jump, and do the same things other eight year olds did). After the casts came off, physical therapy would be a weekly part of our new routine. If having a child who didn't speak English and had two leg casts wasn't enough, Grant took a tumble off of his four wheeler and broke his arm. Can you imagine the ugly looks I got when I was seen with one kid with two leg casts and one with a cast on his arm. Argh! As the casts came off and we began PT, it was obvious that Dasha's "problems" were much bigger than simply lengthening her tendons. After many tests which were quite inconclusive and much evidence, she was finally diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Keeping her muscles stretched out will be a life-time commitment but this is sure not impacting Dasha's intellectual functioning!!!

Time has passed and we are still battling Dasha's muscles. When she has growth spurts, she hunches over like an old lady but we have an awesome physical therapist who helps keep Dasha is "alignment" and is constantly reminding us that CP muscle issues are like roller coasters!

While Dasha's physical metamorphosis is quite obvious, we're still working to fill in all of the voids left by institutional life. Things such as maintaining personal space, acting "appropriately" in public, and understanding the need to work hard at school are all goals that are going to take some extra time to instill. Everyday is NOT a walk in the park. However, Eric and I can both look back to an exact moment in time when we knew that Dasha was to be part of our family. We will continue to follow God's direction and share His love with Dasha. As I said, it's not always easy but when you are on the right path, it makes those frustrating moments easier to endure.

Randolph History 201: Homecoming

After months of waiting, we finally received a court date for our final adoption proceedings. We left for St. Petersburg, again in December of 2005.

This time, we arrived at the orphanage to find Dasha telling her friends, "Good-bye, I'll never see you again!" Dasha was dismissed to our care for the remainder of our stay in Russia. She was ecstatic! Eric was thrilled with having a girl! And I was terrified!!!

We were very lucky to have the opportunity to stay at the home of a gentleman from Athens, GA who had started an outreach to orphans in Russia. While we did pay for our room, it was well below what a hotel would've cost and we had a translator!

Russian courts can order that a family stay in Russia for two weeks for a "waiting period" after their adoption is final. We were praying that our two week wait would be waived. Two weeks would have meant that we were spending Christmas in Russia and away from Grant. Our prayers were answered, and our waiting period was waived due to the fact that Dasha had already spent time with us. We'd be able to make it home for Christmas! We decided that I would go ahead and fly home to get back to school and get Grant back to some normalcy. I left for Moscow on the day after the proceedings and Grant stayed behind with Dasha to do the final paperwork. On December 7th, Dasha arrived on US soil as Dasha Elizabeth Randolph.

Randolph History 104: The Great Adventure

After a wonderful hosting experience with Daria, who preferred to be called Dasha, our hearts were tender and we had to seek guidance as to what our next steps would be. Grant had taken to Dasha and they'd learn to speak the same language - play and laughter. We definitely had the opportunity to adopt Dasha but that would cost LOTS of money (which we still didn't' have) and require international travel.

God quickly showed us which paths to choose and we began traipsing through the the red tape called the international adoption process. Ironically, another family from our church was going to adopt a child that lived in the same orphanage as Dasha so we had another family to muddle through the process with!

Our church family pulled together and helped with several benefits which raised the money we needed for the legal costs. Ironically, the family we were adopting with worked for Delta so they graciously gave us Buddy Passes. Not only did we get a free flight to Moscow, we got to ride first class! Yee-haw! I'd always wondered what went on on the other side of that mysterious curtain!

We made our first trip to St. Petersburg in May of 2005. What an emotional roller coaster. I'd never been away from Grant for more than a couple of nights and I'd never been out of the US. Let me give you a suggestion, if you want to be an international traveler, don't start with Russia! The other dramatic part of the trip was this... Since we were flying on Buddy Passes, we had to go stand-by. We didn't get on the first flight with our friends. There was one seat left and I was completely mortified by the thought of landing on international soil with Eric! We ended up calling a friend who bought us tickets (we didn't have a credit card with that much room and we sure didn't have that much cash) to Moscow. Upon landing in Moscow, we met up with our friends who had some "connections" in Moscow who helped us navigate our way back to the train station and onto a train bound for St. Petersburg. Trains are much cheaper and I don't know how I'd rate their safety in comparison of the small planes which fly between Moscow and St. Petersburg.

Moving on... We finally arrived at the orphanage only to find out that Dasha had be quarantined for a respiratory infection at a hospital about an hour away. While fighting back the urge to scream, cry, and just over and sleep, we visited with the other children in the orphanage. Though it was heartbreaking, it was encouraging to see how well the staff interacted with the kids. We knew that Dasha had been well cared for.

The next day, our driver took us to the children's hospital so we could see Dasha. She was in a room by herself with a portable potty (full) and a bowl of mush on the table. Dasha had convinced the staff that she was near crazy! She wouldn't speak to them and was lethargic. However, when we arrived, she greeted us with Mama and Poppy and lit up! The staff was amazed. Our driver was our interrupter and helped us promise her that we'd be back to take her home to the US in a few months. (We knew that we'd simply be filing paperwork on this trip). We left her with some new hair barrettes and a doll that spoke both Russian and English. Then we left. Eric and I both cried all the way back to St. Petersburg.

The next morning, we were told that the hospital had agreed to release Dasha to our care for the next two days due to her reaction to us. Thank you, God. We were staying in a old two-bedroom flat with the other family. Their son, Elman, had been released to their care for the remainder of our stay, as well. After a long and eventful day of signing papers and promising people that we weren't crazy, at least legally, we went back to the orphanage and picked Dasha up. We spent the next day experiencing Russia with her. She was not able to walk but Eric was more than happy to carry her everywhere.

When we returned Dasha and Elman to the orphanage the next day, our hearts were broken but we knew that we'd return soon to take the kids home for good.

Randolph History 103: The Saga Continues

OK - After Ansley's death, things were very rough for our marriage. Our common goal had been financial survival and tending to Ansley's needs. Without those goals, we didn't think we had anything to fight for. Yes, Grant was our everything and he was definitely worth fighting for but we were weary with fighting and wanted to take an easy way out. Eric's boss at Chick-fil-A offered us a scholarship to a marriage "retreat" at Camp Winshape. We accepted not knowing what to expect. The four day retreat turned out to be more like isolation in a Pottery Barn-ish cabin with the support of a marriage counselor. Talk about intense! Eric and I found out things about each other and ourselves that I don't know if we'd even had revealed in twenty years of marriage. (Some of those things I think I could have done without knowing) ! :) Bottom line, the support of others and another reminder of God's sovereignty and grace put our marriage back on the "viable" market. Things didn't change over night but we could see the light at the end of the tunnel. (I'm still working toward that light)!

With our marriage back on the right path, we began to think about our family. We joined the church that had supported us and the class that had provided for us. More than that, we got ourselves right with God. He had given us such a gift in our short time with Ansley and such a peace throughout her illness. Eric and I both had to realize that we'd cluttered up our lives and moved away from God. All we had to do was move the clutter and run back into those outstretched arms. I'm sure not saying that we didn't experience the pain and grief of losing a child. We were able to experience that grief from within the confines of the knowledge that "all things happen for a reason" (Romans 8:28).

As time passed, we began to think about our options for expanding our family. We had a 25% chance of having another Pompe's child. We weren't comfortable with the uncertainty of foster care. We did have to think about Grant's development, as well. However, in August of 2004, our path was made clear in a very odd way. A friend of ours had mentioned a group that brought East European children to the US each Christmas and summer for visits. Most of these children were available for adoption, as well. We'd been receiving email from this group from several months but hadn't paid too much attention to them. We did NOT have the finances to pay for airfare or any of the other requirements for one of these orphans. Ha, ha, ha.

Eric and I both opened up the email with the pictures of the kids coming for the Christmas 2004 hosting. He opened the email at home and I opened it at school. We both saw the same six year old and both told ourselves, "NO WAY!" The bio of this child said that she had respiratory issues, couldn't walk, and had some vision problems. We'd already "been there and done that" with medical issues. However, I couldn't get the little girl out of my mind. Her given name was Daria. Unbeknown to me, Eric couldn't get her out of his mind either. Through a series of emails, we finally found out that God had laid the little girl on both of our hearts. Our final email said something like, "What do we do?" The smart person would have responded, "Do what God wants you to do." However, those of us that are too smart for our own good try to use "reason." We eventually called the hosting agency and were told that the agency hadn't agreed to let anyone host the child because they were waiting on the "right" family. Great. God has a way of working things out even if we don't cooperate! Long story short, Daria was slotted to spend Christmas 2004 with our family. However, a few weeks before she was to arrive, we were told that she was going to have spinal surgery in Russia to fix her "toe walking." I have to admit that I was almost relieved. I'd just spent several months being house bound with a terminally ill infant. Now, I was going to be house bound with a handicapped Russian child who couldn't speak English. Hmmm. Might sound selfish but it's the truth! I think I had my own personal little victory party. A week before the orphans were to arrive, we got a phone call about 7:00 a.m. that simply said, "Check your email." The email said that Russian doctors had decided to let Daria come to the US instead of doing spinal surgery. They thought the US experience would do her a world of good and the surgery could be rescheduled. OK. My very mature mindset was completely unraveled. This was going to happen no matter what I wanted. On December 7, 2004, Daria arrived at Hartfield Airport in Atlanta and came to live at the House of Randolph for a few weeks.

Randolph History 102: Ansley

Our family seemed complete with a big brother and dainty little sister. However, after noticing that Ansley seemed limp and didn't have much muscle tone, we became concerned. We didn't have to worry too long before a trip to the ER shook our "routine" world. We'd taken Ansley to the ER at Scottish Rite due to her wheezing. We'd been told that she might have asthma which wasn't a big deal since Eric, too, has asthma. However, when we arrived at the hospital, Ansley was whisked away into a trauma room because of her low blood oxygen. Looking back, I don't know if those call those rooms "trauma rooms" because of the patent's trauma or the parents'. Anyway, we were eventually transferred to Scottish Rite Children's Hospital where she was admitted to PICU. She remained there for six weeks. Doctors assumed that she had a rare and terminal disease, Pompe's. We were finally released to come home right before Grant's 3rd birthday. However, we were dismissed with a laundry list of medications, oxygen, a feeding tube, and enough monitors to make neighbors mistake our apartment for some sci-fi set for a movie!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
During all of this, Eric lost his job. Since I had been staying at home, this was devastating financially. It is extremely humbling to admit but I ended up in the line for WIC and Medicaid for the kids. Through a host of miraculous events, I was able to return to my old school and begin teaching again in October. This is almost unheard of - getting a job in the middle of the year! The position was for a long-term substitute. Funny enough, this job only existed in our county for two years! Eric was able to go back to his old Chick-fil-A job that he had in college in the evenings. Only by the grace of God did we keep our rent paid and food on the table. So, I worked during the day while Eric took care of Grant and tended to Ansley's medical needs. Then, when I got home, we traded jobs. I can guarantee this is NOT how to grow a healthy marriage!

In February of 2003, Ansley's conditioned worsened again. We were readmitted to Egleston. I continued working while Eric stayed at the hospital with Ansley and a host of friends and relatives took care of Grant. Although we still had not gotten a final diagnosis for Pompe's disease, all of the symptoms pointed directly to that. Pompe's is a genetic disease but Eric and I could not find any other evidence of it in our lineages. It is very rare.

In March, Ansley's death was inevitable. Eric and I made the decision to take her home. We were dismissed to hospice. Doctors, respiratory therapists, and nurses escorted us from Atlanta back to Kennesaw to get Ansley situated. We were worried with Grant's perception of things but he kept the role of innocent three year old big brother and became her protector. I won't lie and say that the next few days were blissful. They weren't. We had an apartment full of relatives and friends. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm NOT a social being and I'd much rather live under a rock than have to socialize! However, we were grateful for all of the help.

Before Ansley's hospitalization, we'd fallen away from our church family. We'd simply become "too busy." However, when Ansley was admitted to the hospital the first time, I called the church that Grant had been attending for preschool and simply ask them to pray. I had no idea that they would assign us a class that would become our shepards. All of those "unknown" friends brought food, gave money, and stayed on their knees for us.

On March 3rd, Eric's best friend and his new wife (they came home from their honeymoon to be with us) were with us having dinner. Eric and Jay (Ansley's middle name) were about to leave to go to Blockbuster. However, moments before they could leave, Ansley's monitors alarmed. Grant turned the monitors off just as he'd been instructed to do many times before. Ansley slipped from the bonds of her disease and into Jesus'. The word that comes to mind is - peace. There were no nurses running crazily from station to station, just Ansley and our family.

Obviously, it's much easier for me to write all of this with five years worth of time passed. However, the biggest thing that I constantly remember from our short experience with Ansley was her huge impact on all of those around her. In her nine months here, her demeanor and spunk showed how pure God's love is. At her funeral, pediatricians, doctors, nurses, and administrators from the hospital were in attendance along with all of our new church family. I can guarantee you they weren't there because of how perfect her parents had been!!!

Anyway, through Ansley, we gained precious friends which we still consider our best friends, a more grounded view of how finite things on this Earth are, and how gracious God is.

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Randolph History 101

OK - Just a quick dose of Randolph History 101 for those of you who might be spying on the craziness of our family just to make yourselves feel a little better about your own lives!

Eric and I were married in January of 1997. I started teaching in August of that year and Eric continued traveling with a PR company. The moment we settled into a routine, suprise! Grant was born in January of 2000 and was, of course, the apple of everyone's eye. I stayed home with him while Eric continued traveling. Then, suprise AGAIN! On July 4 of 2002, Ansley was born.

OK - 21st Century Wins!

For the last five years, I've been using email as my mode of communication about all of the nutty stuff that seems to befall my family. However, I'm going to do my best to begin updating everyone via this new blog thing! All hail the 21st Century!