If you know me very well, you know that I love to put things together. I love the thought of systematically taking lots of seemingly random pieces and making them into one big work of art. From furniture to puzzles, I love the challenge of turning all of those gazillion parts into something useful. Ok, I know puzzles aren't very useful but you get the picture.I'm beginning to realize that my kids are each like a box full of pieces that have to be carefully assembled to reach the finished product. However, sometimes, it's like I'm assembling a one thousand piece puzzle and I never bother to look at the picture on the box to see what the finished product should look like! I just keep randomly jamming pieces together and if they fit, great, if not, I throw that piece back into the pile and try another one without a good plan of action! For anyone who has ever assembled a real puzzle before, you know that you always start with the edges first. Once you have the outline done, then you choose one area at a time to work on until you get to the finished product. Sometimes a puzzle takes a few minutes, some a few hours, and honestly, some, I never finish but I always have a plan of where to start and what to do next.
I'm finding out that each of my kids is like a different puzzle. Each child's "box" has a very different picture of what the finished product should look like. I have to admit that many times, for the sake of sanity, I try to use the same picture for all three kids and those are the days when I end up wanting to close my head in the freezer and take a Mulligan!
The other very trying part of this whole puzzle is that sometimes the picture on the outside of the box changes. Right now, Annie's box shows that the finished product is a obedient toddler with some semblance of manners. (Without my glasses on, I swear that picture looks more like one of the monsters from Monsters Inc., though)! Grant's box shows a pre-teen who understands the "whys" behind his choices as a child of God and functions as "salt of the Earth" in the real world despite what his peers choose. Then, there's Dasha's box. Sometimes, I think Dasha's box holds one of those 3-D puzzles that I've never been able to put together completely! Or even closer to the truth, one of those double sided puzzles where each piece has two sides and you have to figure out which side corresponds to the picture you're working on! Nonetheless, each child has a different box and has to be assembled quite differently.
When you first find out that you're pregnant, you start buying books that tell you about all of the "puzzle pieces" that you're going to have to deal with. (Although, I never saw too many chapters on how to get Rice Krispies from the buckle of a car seat or Hot Wheels cars out of the toilet). After reading tons of parenting books before Grant was born about these "pieces", I just assumed that the information in those books could be trickled down over all of the other siblings who would enter the house. Ha! The books such as Baby Wise that I read and used to guide Grant's early years have simply made great bookends as Annie has made her way through the house! There is only one book that seems to cover every one of the puzzles that we've been given as gifts - the Bible.
Within that great book which shows the best way to fit all of the pieces together, the verse that continually comes to mind is Proverbs 13:20. He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. I have to be wise. That's so darn hard sometimes! However, I can tell you from experience, that kids act like their parents! I think the most common phrases uttered in the halls of schools are, "That apple didn't fall far from the tree," and in extreme cases, "That gene pool needs some Clorox!" Your children are a direct reflection of you - like it or not! The best barometer of my actions is the actions of my own kids! That's scary business! I hate to admit it but I have a real potty mouth when the going gets tough. I make a conscious effort in times of trial such as slamming my hand in the van's sliding door or dumping my coveted Coke Zero in the perfect Chick-fil-A cup into the floor board of the van to NOT let those words slither from my mouth. However, I admit that sometimes, I fail! When Dasha accidentally threw the Wii remote into the fireplace a few months ago and uttered a choice word, Grant quickly told her that she couldn't say that word. She quickly reminded him that Mom says that word. (The whole time, I was standing in the kitchen listening the my stomach churn at the conversation)! At that point, dear Grant simply said, "Well, she made a mistake but you're still not supposed to say it!" I felt like I was about three inches tall! However, Dasha was simply doing what Mom did. I had NOT been wise in controlling my tongue and she had followed suit!
What do puzzle boxes and potty mouths have to do with each other? I have to daily seek out what the picture on each child's puzzle box looks like and I have to set the example in order for my kids' pieces to finally match the finished product on the box! I have a LONG way to go in my pursuit of being "wise" in order to lead my children. It is a daily battle. However, if I continue being a fool, guess what my kids will be? There are already too many fools running around this planet! I need to work hard to seek and discover what the finished puzzle for each of my kids should look like and be a wise role model for them! Geez! It sounds so easy, doesn't it! Well, I'll see how easy it is the next time Dasha leaves a Polly Pocket in the floor and I step on it in the middle of the night only to trip and smash my toe against on of Grant's Lego creations!
Deuteronomy 6:6-8 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Note to self - this verse does NOT give permission to tie the children up in the name of learning to walk with God! Nor does it give permission to reenact that bank commercial where they staple bar codes to the customers' heads and staple commandments to the children's little noggins!
(You forget - it's summer vacation and I'm trapped ALONE with all 3 children. I have to remind myself of even the smallest things)!
