"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
So, here's how it works. Just when I think I have things figured out, the rug gets ripped out from under me and I land on my butt. This might be an "A-Ha" moment for some or an "A-ha ha ha" moment for those who see me land but for me, I've lost the ha ha ha part. Those moments now give me the "uh oh" feeling or the "Oh crap, here it comes!" feeling. So, I've decided to stop thinking I have things figured out. I don't. I won't. I can't.
A-Ha moment-
I decided to redeem an old voucher for time at the gym across the street to give me some ME time. I enrolled the girls in the Kids Club area and decided I'd pay the per visit rate for Grant if he wanted to go. After putting Annie to bed tonight, I decided I'd run to the gym and just get on a treadmill. What could possibly happen? Annie was asleep (I doubled checked). Grant was playing on the computer. Dasha was coloring. I could be back home in less than 2 minutes if something blew up. Seriously! About the time I got cocky and started thinking, "Hey, I could do this every night after I put Annie down and burn off those Pop Tarts that I've been eating instead of meals," it happened.
Here it comes moment-
My cell phone was sitting on the deck of the treadmill and I saw it light up with the text from Grant, "Annie is up." Perfect. So, I jump off the treadmill - STUPID - and then land on my butt in front of all of the other true athletes who were in the cardio area. I tried to act graceful about the whole thing and laugh it off but I just wanted to sit there in the floor and cry. Was it too much to ask for 30 minutes to myself? Now, my butt and my attitude are bruised. I'll get over it but, once again, my great A-Ha moment morphed into a Here it Comes kind of moment. (I think Jeff Foxworthy may have tagged these moments as, "Here's Your Sign" moments)!
As a side note, for the few minutes I walked on the treadmill, the huge TV hanging in front of me was tuned to Sex in the City. I'd never seen the show before. Yes, I live in a very sheltered world. However, after seeing just a few moments of the show, no wonder the world is so messed up! In the few moments I watched, I think I saw (read the closed caption) at least four couples in affairs and enough scantily clad boobs to make what the lady running on the treadmill next to me was wearing look tame! (Didn't know it was ok to wear your bra and panties to the gym. Don't worry! I won't be trying this! They'd deem it a fashion malfunction for sure. I guess the door didn't say, "No shirt, No shorts, No service")!
This is just one example from today of how my big ideas fall flat and normally put me on my butt. However, the bright side of all of this is that tonight, I'm not crying about it (as long as I remain standing and don't sit on my tush - ouch). For some reason, I seem to still be laughing. I'm a little scared, though. Maybe I've crossed the line into that clinically insane realm. Oh well, if that's the case, I kind of like it here. The people seem nice and there aren't too many requirements beyond these little people that look like Oompa Loompas and keep running around muttering a weird phrase - "Mama, mama, mama, mama...." They seem pretty nice, too, although the little one with curls looks a little dangerous!
Beyond my critical treadmill failure tonight, I have come to understand a few other things, though. Several weeks ago, I posted that I didn't have any true friends. I knew that it wasn't true as I typed it out. I was just frustrated with a few friends who had always portrayed themselves as one thing and then turned out to be something completely different. I don't have time to figure other folks out right now. I'm having a hard enough time figuring the "new" me out! However, through this whole situation, I have had the strength of several steadfast friends lifting (ok, hoisting after all the Pop Tarts) me up. I can't tell you how incredible the team of ladies I work with are. They don't ask for details, they just offer to help. They don't offer judgment, they just do what they can to foresee my limitations and stop me before I get too far and end up in the ditch. I'm so appreciative for them. I'm going to miss them dearly this summer. Another friend seems to have the gift of knowing what I need before I've even make it public, too. Saturday night, she showed up at my door with some of her old clothes that she couldn't wear any more. After Grant told me that I looked like I had a dirty diaper because the butt of my pants were so saggy, it made me really self-conscious. I know he didn't mean anything by it. In normal child-like fashion, he was merely stating the obvious. Although, I would have much preferred to hear, "Mom, do you think you should buy some smaller pants?" instead of insinuating I'd lost all of my faculties and pooped my pants (doesn't that go along with insanity? :))! Before I'd even told anyone about this, my friend showed up with about six pairs of shorts and capris and some tops. Seriously? Words couldn't express my gratitude. I have to tell you that for the first time since I was 15, I wore a size that didn't have a 2 in the tens place - despite those darn Pop Tarts! I did my own little happy dance and looked in the mirror to make sure that my diaper didn't look droopy! Nope! Anyway, friends have come through in so many ways over the last six weeks. I'll never have enough resources to pay everyone back but not a single thing has gone unnoticed. Even simple things like making a copy for me or grabbing a chair for me during a faculty meeting have meant so much. So, like I mentioned earlier, my comment about not having true friends was a little overly dramatic. I should have said something like, "I can't stand people who play middle school games and say one thing and do another!" That would have been more accurate.
As for the rest of the night, I'm going to try to finish laundry since that darn laundry fairy seems to be on strike again and get ready for my last day of the school year. I was a bit apprehensive about the new principal but he seems to be a good communicator and makes his wishes clear. Heck, I can play just about any game if I know the rules! It's when they don't give you the rule book that things get dicey! (That's my biggest problem with my personal life right now! Where are the rules to this game? I need to know the "If A, then B or If C, then not A" kind of things)! Anyway, I'm looking forward to wrapping things up and spending the rest of the week getting the house back into order and then enjoying the summer! (OK, I'll enjoy the first two weeks and then I'll be whining to go back because I'm bored and tired of hearing my own kids whine)!
For now, goodnight!
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