Run and not grow weary...

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

So, today, I had to attend a workshop about error analysis in math. (Notice that I said that I HAD to attend it). I entered the high school's ROTC room where the meeting was to be held at 7:45 this morning. Other ladies piled in the room, as well. And then, the boredom began. The speaker was a very respected mathematician from Chicago with an extremely dry sense of humor (think Three Stooges on Benadryl and alcohol). Over the period of six hours, this guy went through all 176 pages of his instructional book. The biggest take-aways I had from the meeting were facts such as the ROTC room had 14 light covers and each cover held 3 bulbs. The bricks on the wall outside of the window in that room repeat every 7th row. Instead of starting the tiled floor in the middle (like you're supposed to) and cutting the tiles around the edges, the builders started the tiles at the front of the room and cut the row at the back. And, wait, here's the biggest A-Ha moment of my day, I could get a cell signal in the ROTC room but not in bathroom stalls three or four in the 100 hallway. Get my point? (I sure hope county brass doesn't read this but, geez! If you're going to present, learn to talk to your audience and keep them from feeling like they need to play iPhone games to keep themselves awake)! Back to the point, it was a long boring day. The highlight, beyond knowing the repeating pattern of the bricks, was going to Publix for lunch to grab a sandwich! Whoo-hoo! People who work in corporate America really take for granted being able to escape for lunch or run an errand on your lunch break. That doesn't happen for teachers! You never know who's going to puke or eat something they're allergic to or even which kid might decide to test out that cool trick they saw on some show the night before which involves a plastic fork, grapes, and mashed potatoes!

Why am I rambling on about all of this? Because I'm tired. Boredom tires me out faster than manual labor! However, I'm not just normal tired. I find that I'm getting weary! I'm weary of emotions and difficult conversations. I'm weary of folks knowing more than I want them to know. I'm weary of trying to explain things. I'm weary of trying to compromise and work things out. I'm weary of trying to figure things out. I'm weary of replaying where and why things went wrong. I'm weary of never knowing what normal is! (Yeah, I know. Abnormal is the only normal). I'm just plain old weary.

So, after a day of listening to the male version of Charlie Brown's teacher, I went back to my school to put in some extra hours that we have to make up for all of those blasted ice days! As I drove home, I realized that today was the last day (maybe for forever) that I'd be able to say that my husband had picked the kids up in order to help me keep all of my commitments. That one thought made my "weary meter" skyrocket just like one of those cartoons where the character hits the lever with the mallet and sends the little button zinging up and off of the scale and into orbit! There won't be any more coming home to gourmet home cooked meals like the one I came home to tonight complete with steak, rice, and green beans with peas. The kids will be lucky to get Cheerios by candle light on those extra special nights instead of a Lunchable. I won't come home to neat piles of laundry folded on the bed and ready to put away like I did tonight. We'll be back to digging clean clothes out of a laundry basket in the hallway. And, beyond all of the misery, the kids won't be able to come home to daddy in the office with his music turned up and three computer monitors all jumping with different data. This doesn't even touch bedtime routines when Annie asks for Daddy to take off his glasses and blow on her tummy or Grant sharing some rude YouTube video joke before lights out or Dasha asking one of those questions that only she can ask. Weary doesn't even begin to touch the feelings that mount inside of me when I think about trying to fill all of these jobs.

However, as I finish reading the Love Dare book (why not, what do I have to lose?), Isaiah 40:31 was the key scripture. It's moments like this that make me realize that God know my every whine, my every fear, my every thought (good and bad) and is still making provisions for me. So, tonight as I head to bed (after I get those neat little piles of laundry off of the bed - sorry Eric, I'm sure they'll get put away tomorrow :)), I will rest in knowing that even as I begin to grow weary and feel the weight of everything pressing in on me, He will carry me (and the rest of my family who are all feeling this same stress right now).

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

My goal for the next month is to post at least something to the blog each night. Reading back through the trials I've blogged about and then seeing how provisions have been made to see me to the other side encourage me to keep pressing on. Hopefully, in a month, I'll be able to read back over these blogs and see that I've fought a good fight and am soaring with wings like an eagle!