Today = meltdown mode
Tried to get everyone up and ready to head back to school to finish hooking up the computers. I couldn't get everyone coordinated so at 10:00, we still hadn't left and I gave up.
At 10:00, the urgent care facility that I went to called and said that the hospital radiologist read the xrays and determined that there was a break in my wrist and I needed to see an orthopedist. Ha! I did see one yesterday but he said it wasn't broken and just the ligament was torn. Nice.
At 10:10, I call another orthopedist and the only appointment they had was at 11:00. Perfect. No sitter. What do I do? The only other appointment is tomorrow morning and that means forfeiting my hair appointment. I decide to go to the 11:00 appointment and leave the kids home alone. I've never done that before and surely not for an extended amount of time. I call Eric and ask him to call and check in on them as much as possible and head to the appointment.
The new orthopedist took more xrays and even showed me the break. (No comment about the nut job from yesterday). Suggested fix, a cast. Now, I'd already been drizzling tears since the 10:00 phone call wonder how the heck I was going to swing this new scenario! The confirmation of a cast just makes it worse. Hopeless. Helpless. Frustrated. Done. Those were the more positive emotions. I'm not quiet sure how many times my mind wandered heavenward and asked, "Why," and "How am I going to do this?" I'm not sure if the staff at the office had already alerted the mental ward or if they were truly worried about me but the doctor finally asked if I was in that much pain. I just told him that I was frustrated with life and I had a two year old and a cast was going to be a very big challenge. He gave me the doctor speech first and told me that I needed to consider my own health and not put myself at risk. Then, he told me he had 3 year old twins and made me promise in about six different oaths that I'd behave and not do anything ridiculous if he gave me a removable cast (basically a large splint with metal poles running down it - very uncomfortable but much better than a cast). Obviously, I agreed. I have to go back once the swelling subsides and he'll do another xray. If the break is mending properly, he'll let me stay in the splint. If not, a cast is the only answer. Ugh. (He did offer me some Valium and said that the angle this splint would put my wrist in would be uncomfortable. I took the prescription this time and I'm glad I did because it feels like Mario and his friends are inside my wrist jack hammering. I think I'll try some Tylenol, though, before I resort to the hard stuff. I'm just terrified of falling asleep and not hearing the house burning down or someone calling for me)!
Let's just say that by the time I got home, I was a ticking time bomb. I didn't know if the kids would have all killed each other (or Annie would have tied the others up) and I just needed to let everything out! The kids were just fine. No permanent harm done. My mom arrived on the scene shortly after I got back. I'd left her a frantic and crazed message earlier about having to leave the kids alone and she'd come running over. With her and the kids present, there was no chance of me having an emotional avalanche. I stuffed it all down and put on the warrior face and played the game a bit longer.
She ended up staying with the girls while Grant and I ran to school so I could fix the computers. I also needed to tell Grant that he'd be having three shots this afternoon and not just the one that he'd assumed. He does so much better if he knows the truth of what's happening but the timing with him is always tricky. If you tell him too early, he stresses. If you tell him too late, he's caught off-guard and melts down. I'd hoped to sneak in and out of the school building without being seen since I hadn't had a shower and my hair looked a wreck! It's just impossible to fix my own hair right now! And, I only have one pair of shorts that I can wear that are too big and don't have to be unbuttoned and unzipped to take care of business! It's impossible to button and zip with one hand! Anyway, I got into the building, got things done, and was only spotted by a few folks which was a relief.
Then, on to the doctor. Poor Grant was a nervous wreck. However, the nurse was great and had given all three shots in less than probably 15 seconds! We were both relieved!
We crashed mom's house for dinner tonight and now I'm waiting the storm out to put Annie to bed. All of these bottled up emotions from today are about to blast out of me and I need everyone in bed before I can let my guard down and let that happen. Today is one of those days when I just want to snuggle up in someone's arms and let all of the pieces come falling to the ground and deal with the aftermath later. Not gonna happen, though. So, I'll head to bed with a box of Kleenex and a bottle of Tylenol. I won't try to complete any more questions in the stupid workbook, either. I never made it through the first question last night. (That's a conversation for another night). We have a meeting with the assistant principal at the middle school at 8:00 in the morning so I have to make sure that I can successfully get everyone out of the house on time. Then, my relief will be here at 9:30 and I'll be off for my hair appointment and whatever else I can squeeze into that time. Whew!
Some nights, I go to bed hoping that I'm going to wake up the next morning and this is all just going to be a bad dream! (Yeah, I know that this whole soliloquy is nothing but one big whine but that's just how I feel tonight. This will pass and I'll move on but I'm seem to be stuck here for the moment). Tonight, it feels like everything is broken - not just my wrist.
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