Diaper Blowouts, Swiss Alps, and Bursting Dams

Understand this: everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
James 1:19

"Mama, Mama! What doing? You tired? I all done sleeping!"

Really? This is the worst alarm clock ever! It's even worse because it just keeps repeating until you acknowledge it. (I wonder what would happen if I just swung at it like I do the snooze on my alarm clock)? Unlike other mornings, though, this morning, the voice was coming from directly in front of my face and not from the monitor which is across the room and delightfully muffles the morning WAKE UP announcements most mornings. She escaped her bed and her room!

I simply pulled Annie up into the bed with me, opened the laptop, and hit resume on the Dora episode that I already had ready to go! (I'm smarter than the average bear)! I also had a sippy cup full of water ready to go, as well. I've learned that this gets me through her first few demands - at least up until she starts asking for eggs or grits - and gives me a few extra minutes to wake myself up. I haven't found a good way to keep the eggs or grits on the nightstand or I might be able to pull off staying in bed to 7:30!

Anyway, that all lasted for a few minutes until I felt something wet on my pjs. What? My first thought was that she'd taken the lid off of the cup. That's her latest stunt and I'm not fond of it. I only wish it had been water. Those blasted WalMart diapers I bought while trying to be all Clark Howard-ish frugal don't work! Now, it was 6:30 and my sheets and clothes were covered with pee, as well as, Annie and I assumed her bedding was wet, too. Well, good morning world! What a great way to start a day doomed to be full of laundry and cleaning anyway!

So, before 7:00 a.m. this morning, both my linens and Annie's were already sloshing around in the washing machine and we'd both had showers. I don't know if the "shower" would have really counted if we had to adhere to Webster's definition but I felt like the pee was at least off of both of us. (For moms reading this, do you remember how miserable it can be to take a "shower" with the shower door open with a little person pointing to random body parts and asking questions? Yep. That's what my shower was like this morning).

I figured since Annie and I were up, that Dasha might as well be up too! Once we were all dressed and the loads of laundry had been changed out, we had breakfast and started to clean up the dishes. Dasha's "jurisdiction" is the kitchen so she normally loads and unloads the dishwasher. As I worked to wipe off the table and pick up the clutter that the toy box seems to contantly vomit out everywhere, I heard Dasha start getting harsh with Annie. (Believe me, I was standing within 10 feet of them and could see and hear them. I was just distracted by the toy graveyard). Anyway, as I turned toward the kitchen...

This was what I saw. Annie had opened a cabinet door and used the shelf as a ladder to scramble onto the counter to "help" Dasha. Believe me, Dasha did NOT want her help. Annie is like a mini Spider Man. I still don't know how she crawled up there so fast!

Anyway, we got ready to go feed Mom and Dad's animals and were all heading back downstairs with our shoes and socks on. I had just stepped off the bottom step and rounded the corner. Annie was only a few steps behind me and then Dasha behind her. The sound I heard as I rounded the corner was sickening. It was one of those sounds that a mother can identify without hesitation. Then, it got worse. The first sound was a "thump, thump, thump" of a little body falling down the stairs. The second sound was that little body crashing into the metal gate at the bottom of the stairs. The sound that scared me the worst, though, was the silence that followed. It took me less that three seconds to swirl around and see Annie laying piled up against the metal gate with her face in the bars. Dasha stood a few steps above her just staring.

I'm going to admit right now that I'm not really proud of the next thoughts that I had. My mind raced wondering if Dasha had done something to make Annie fall. She was aggravated with her after the dish washing incident earlier in the morning. When I'd finally untangled Annie from the gate, she was all in one piece except she had a goose egg already rising next to her eye. When I finally got her calmed down (the crying did finally begin but it started at that open-mouthed no sound kind of cry), she kept telling me to kiss it because it still hurt. Those magical mommy kisses. Ugh.

I simply asked Dasha what happened. She said, "Nothing." My temper flared and I almost lost it. Ok. Even if she didn't do anything to cause the accident, NOTHING was definitely not what happened! I asked her in the calmest way I could if she knew HOW it happened, she still said she didn't have any clue. My final question was, "If you hadn't been standing behind Annie, do you think that she would have fallen?" Ok. Stupid question. That's like asking if a tree that falls in the forest makes a sound if no one is there to hear it. I gave up. I still don't have an answer. Part of me feels really guilty for even suspecting that my own child would purposely hurt someone else - anyone for that matter! I tried to tell myself to drop it and just keep a closer eye on the two of them. Yeah. I was only a few feet in front of them! Do I need to have both of them in my sight at all times? That's just not reasonable!

Annie has a pretty good shiner to show for her tumble. Her eyelid is really bruised but she hasn't seemed to have any vision problems so I'm assuming it just a surface wound and will only add a little more character!

After feeding the animals, we headed to Hobby Lobby to get flowers for Ansley's grave and then ran in Ross to look for a pair of capris that I can wear without having to belt them up like a potato sack. My devotional verse was so useful through this journey! I can't tell you how many times I had to remember to be slow to speak. As I looked through the racks of clothing at Ross, Dasha just kept narrating the journey through every single item on the rack! "Oh, Mom. Look at this. This is nice. Do you think $9.99 is too much money for this? Wow! I really like this one. This one looks like a leopard. You'd look really nice in that at church." I think the final statement about a pair of leopard print leggings finally did get a response from me something like, "Why don't you just hold your thoughts in your head for a few minutes and let me concentrate on finding some pants before Annie gets fussy!" While I'm being honest, I also looked at the bra section. Dasha continued to narrate there, as well. At one point, I burst out laughing at her because she had picked up something the size of the Swiss Alps that was pre-formed into boob shapes. She kept touching it and then at one point looked at her own chest and then mine. I just told her that I thought we were in the wrong size section. She adamantly agreed and said, "I don't know who belongs in this section." Oh boy. We left Ross without making a purchase before we were kindly asked to leave! (And, did I mention that while we were looking around, Annie was sitting / standing in her stroller grabbing hold of anything that crossed near her hands? She was like a little viper that struck out at any moving prey within striking distance)!

We headed home. Annie napped. Dasha and I worked on matching dresses for the girls for the 4th of July. I love that she wants to help but she doesn't have that innate sense of when to wait and take a breath. She's smothering. I know she doesn't mean it that way but after a while, it starts to eat at you. We managed to finish Annie's dress but I gave up on Dasha's for the time being. While I simply cut Annie's fabric according to the pattern, Dasha didn't understand why we had to keep making modifications to her dress in the bodice - specifically up top. At one point, she said, "Mama. I wear a size 12 and this line on the pattern says 12. Why can't we just cut it there and then cut the fabric?" She is clueless that her fate may be that Swiss Alps bra from Ross! Whew!

Fast forward through finishing laundry, trying to clean the garage out but getting frustrated with all of the memories out there and the blazing heat, and a rousing game of "Every one clean up, clean up, clean up!" Annie just assumed that we'd be going back to the park tonight. She started asking for the swings and slide just as I cleared the dinner dishes. I was NOT in the mood for any more outings. However, I was also not in the mood to hear her whine for the remainder of the evening.

We loaded up in the van and headed for a park. Any park. I didn't want to waste the gas I have left in the van so I was trying to think of parks close by. As we drove, I had Pandora on the Journey channel. It was one of those nights when the playlist sounded like a memory from the skating rink. We rolled the windows down, opened the sun roof, and sang at the top of our lungs - even Annie! I'm a little concerned that Dasha knew some of the lyrics to Pour Some Sugar on Me, Here We Go Again, and Jump. As we sang and acted silly, once again, I looked over at the car sitting next to me at the light. An older man just smiled nicely and waved. Geez. Crazy looking woman in a minivan with girls in the back singing 80s tunes at the top of their lungs. Nice. I wonder if there's some sort of hot-line that these folks are calling when they see me doing crazy things in the van like drinking from Annie's sippy cup and acting like someone singing in the shower without the shower present (and with clothes on - I promise)!

We did finally make it to the park. Dasha was exhausted by the time we got there and didn't really even want to get out. Annie, on the other hand, couldn't get out quick enough.

 The girls decided to make the hike to the other play area. Whew!

And they think a chain will keep her out? Ha!

After a couple of hours in the heat, we were done. We had to hike back across the park to the van. All the way back, Dasha and Annie kept talking about getting their water bottles. For some reason, Annie decided to get very competitive about it and started yelling, "No! My water bottle!" When she spotted the van, she broke loose at full throttle. I knew what would follow but there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.

Wipe out. Annie was down and Dasha just stood in the middle of the parking lot. I seriously wanted to cry. I had one baby on the ground that needed to be tended to but I couldn't give her my full attention because Dasha had suddenly retreated into her own little world and was literally standing in the middle of on-coming traffic. I admit that Grant normally stands in the gaps in these situations as my tag-team partner. I managed to get everyone corralled into the van finally without any causalities.

Currently, the girls are both in bed but I'm wondering what to do. They are shooting fireworks at Dixie and I know that Dakota (Mom and Dad's dog) is probably panic stricken. Do I wake the girls, load them up, and go get the dog or just pray that the dog won't destroy something out of fear? Ugh.

I know that I'm exhausted and that my emotions are dangerously near the surface today. I'm hopeful that a good night of sleep will settle everything. Memories of the first time we held hands (heck, the first time I'd ever held hands with a boy) and remembering him putting his jacket around me because I was cold came flooding back at Hobgood Park. Does every park in this county have a memory attached? Pushing those memories back along with the thoughts of yesterday's park have about put my holding tank at full capacity. 

Monday, July 4th, would have been Ansley's 9th birthday. It's normally a day we celebrate. I don't know what I'll do this year but I know the dam will blow at that point so I'm trying to make sure I have a plan in place. While the tradition of putting flowers on the grave had gotten to be somewhat stilted and a "have to," this year brings nothing but raw emotion, though. Maybe it's because I'm already an emotional mess waiting to happen or maybe it's that I feel like I've lost someone else. Who knows. What I do know is that it will be a hard day coupled with Dasha's idiosyncrasies and Annie's drama. Calgon, take me away!