1) The state of public education. Nope. I don't want to lose my job even though my role has become that of a ring master and not an educator.
2) Potty Training for Dummies. Nope. I admit that I'm a dummy. Annie decided to make use of her old potty chair (and, DANG, she really made use of it) but I didn't know she'd made a deposit until the whole house started smelling funny (worse than Tilex). She simply made her deposit and closed the lid. She hasn't used the "baby potty" in weeks or months. Who knew.
3) My stellar parenting skills. Nope. (My sides are still hurting from laughing about this one)! I remember the good old days when little Granty poo was such a sweet little boy and just loved his mama and thought I was brilliant. Based on his current attitude, I do believe that he now believes me to be as dumb as Annie's special deposit in the potty and equally as old. Trying to do homework with him is like purposely deciding to wrestle an anaconda with your hands tied behind your back. There's no way to win. I didn't fare much better with the girls' homework, either. Dasha has to know how to put a bunch of countries onto a map? The girl can't remember her multiplication facts or her own address and phone number. How is she supposed to remember where all of these countries are. Heck, I'll be the first one to admit that I'd fail the test, too! And Annie, well, her job tonight was to convince us that the letter A was not the letter A. It was the letter 2.
4) Money tree (or lack thereof). Nope. Although I'm growing weary of writing check after check to schools, I'm lucky to have a job (see #1) and stay relatively in the black. From private music lessons which are expected of band students in middle school to paying for district auditions (pay to audition?), I'm tired of being nickled and dimed to death. And then, there's the estimate from the orthodontist. Really? Last time I checked, I could buy wire and glue at Hobby Lobby for less than $20. Let's not mention that the van needs some work done. Once again, I'm thankful beyond measure to be able to meet my obligations each month but it sure would be nice to be able to tuck something away for a rainy day (even if it's raining because the hot water heater exploded).
5) Silence is golden. Nope. I don't have any expertise in this area. Today was especially rough in this department. All day long, students talk (some talk like explosive diarrhea) and ask questions. Don't get me wrong, they are supposed to do this. They are curious learners. But, after leaving the building, I have less than 2 minutes depending on the traffic light before arriving to pick Annie up. From there, it's down hill! Today, she continued to tell me about a playmate bumping her head on "assident." I'll admit that I was sort of ignoring her as I pulled into the car line at the middle school. She finally raised her voice and said, "I need for you to pay attention to me right now because I'm telling you some important directions!" Yes, mam! Once the big kids enter the van, they all seem to engage in an unspoken game of seeing who can talk the fastest and loudest and get the largest percentage of my attention. I've tried changing their game and asking them to join me in a lively round of the Quiet Game but they never want to play. Oh well. Today, though, once we got home, Grant pulled his french horn out to practice a piece for an audition. He qued up the goose killer and began to toot away. Annie wanted to join in so she went and got her drum sticks and plastic trumpet. I felt like I was in a scene from School of Rock. Ugh. Believe me, I can't put a price on silence in this house.
6) Home repair. Nope. This is just as laughable. The house was freezing when we got home and when I went to examine the thermostat, I saw that the display was blank. Hmmmmm.... I know it said, "Battery low," for about a year. I guess it now reads, "Battery RIP," if only I could see the screen. Now, I just have to figure out where you even put the battery!
7) Thankfulness. Yeah. I guess this is my best bet tonight. I'm thankful for healthy kids despite their noise and homework. I'm thankful that the bills are paid and I have a roof over my head. I'm thankful for a job that allows me to be home with the kids each afternoon and during breaks. I'm thankful for teammates that have my back when things get crazy. I'm thankful for abundant grace, mercy, and forgiveness for my stupidity. (I thought I was supposed to get wiser with age). And, I'm thankful to have the ability to sit and type this from my own cozy bed with my favorite TV show, 7th Heaven, on GMC knowing that I got a clean bill of health despite my blood sugar scare this weekend. There's so much more than I could think of that I'm thankful for but, now, I'm thankful that I can turn the light off and go to sleep knowing that all three kids are tucked in for the night and QUIET!
Night, all!
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