Annie decided that instead of the normal version of Reveille this morning as her wake up call, she'd go with something a bit more dramatic. Instead of gradually waking up to her chattering away in her own bed, I was shocked awake by her dumping her sippy cup of water into my bed. If it hadn't been shocking enough to wake up to a Lilliputian standing next to the bed staring at me, being waken up by a crumb-snatcher acting like she's trying to melt the wicked witch was a bit more alarming. Ugh. Yeah. Good morning, world. (She didn't purposely dump her cup but she's learned to squeeze the cups so that the lids pop off and she can drink from them like "big girl" cups).
I managed to crawl around the puddle in the bed and obey the princess' demand for milk. (I made sure I put the milk in a cup that couldn't be squashed open to reveal its contents). Anyway, I left Annie on my bed watching Blue's Clues so I could get a shower. All I wanted was a quick shower. I'd already given up on any luxuries like shaving or conditioner. Heck, I'd even come to terms with the idea that I might not even get to use soap! However, I didn't even get that far. About the time I turned the water on, Annie entered the bathroom. She likes to stand outside the shower door and chat. Usually, I don't know what she's saying so I just, "Uh huh. Really? I didn't know that," to her and she'll finally wander back to the bedroom. Nope. No luck this morning. She started stripping! She decided that she wanted to take a shower WITH me. Ugh. I just wanted three minutes of semi-peace. But without much ado, she slung the door open and jumped in. At first, it seemed to work out ok. She stayed in the corner of the shower and out of the direct flow of water. Then, I heard it. Any mom knows the sound. It's THE grunt. It's not a grunt like a pig. It's a grunt like you'd force out during child birth. Yep. Before my poor brain could even comprehend what was going on, Annie announced, "Mama! I pooped in your shower!" At that point, there was no soap, conditioner, or shaving. It was off of the radar. I carefully lifted Annie around her creation and out of the shower and then got the heck out of Dodge myself. (Yes, I did clean the mess up but Annie stood by and narrated the whole situation which just made me even more aggravated). It wasn't even 8:00 yet and I already felt like simply going back to bed.
However, Dasha had to be dropped off at her play group by 10:00 and I still needed to run to the grocery store to grab her something to take for lunch. So, I pulled the big kids out of their nice toasty beds and got everyone dressed.
I managed to get Dasha where she needed to be and get to Barnes and Noble before their 11:00 story time. I've decided that story tellers at B&N are the ones who drew the short straw at the last department meeting. The girl doing the story today looked like she came out of the cast of L.A. Ink. I kept waiting for Annie to say something Annie-ish like, "Look! She drew on herself with markers. Not good!" But, she didn't. Thank goodness. The storyteller started reading the first book and didn't even hold the book so the kids could see the picture. Annie kept looking between me and the storyteller. I didn't know what to do. I finally asked the girl if we could see the picture. She flashed the picture for about three seconds and moved on. By this point, there were only three families left sitting in the area. And, I've got to say that I was really hoping one of those families would leave! They had a toddler that kept trying to go through my purse and then was climbing all over Annie with a very snotty nose. Ugh. Why don't people think? I don't particularly care for my own snot, much less another kid's snot! Anyway, the storyteller at least had enough survival instinct to know to offer the kids their snack before she started the second book. Annie munched happily on her animal crackers without even looking toward the storyteller. She was definitely over it but stuck with the game to get her food. I was silently counting down the pages until the end of the book when Annie yelled out, "I a tiger! Roar!" It seemed completely random until I realized her animal cracker was in the shape of a tiger. The snotty nosed toddler screamed back at her some indistinguishable war cry and charged at us. I eyed the parents to see if they were watching their little angel turn toward the dark side. Nope. They were both in their own cyber worlds with their cell phones. As the little snot nosed bull came toward us, she ended up tripping over one of the benches. She went face first to the ground and then started howling louder. That scared Annie who started crying, too. The other kid's parents looked at me like I'd thrown their little darling to the ground. I looked toward the storyteller and she was actually smiling at me. Was she smiling because she'd be the first employee to get to witness a baby brawl or was she smiling because she was thinking about inking up the other kid with devil horns? Who knows.
At that point, I took Annie and went looking for Grant. The middle school has a reading program called Reading Counts. The kids have to read books within the program and get passing scores at intervals throughout the year. The tricky part of this is that the kids are assigned reading levels and they can only read books within their levels. Brainy Grant tested out with a Lexile level of something like 1030 which is about a 12th grade reading level. Um. I can't really think of any content appropriate books that I'd like him to read that would be on that level. And, the middle school doesn't have too many book on that level so we've resorted to having to purchase the books ourselves. In order to get Grant out of the store, I had to Google the Lexile levels, then the tests available at the school, and then cross reference to two and find some sort of match on the shelf that had what I'd consider safe content. It was so frustrating. While I was doing this, Annie was crawling up and down the aisle roaring like a tiger.
There comes a time in your life when you just sort of admit defeat in certain areas. Maybe defeat isn't the right word. Maybe it's more like you just finally accept the cards you've been dealt and agree to learn to play the game using those cards. Standing there in the young adult fiction aisle at B&N, I felt like I'd been dealt a hand of UNO cards and got a bunch of Draw Fours and Reverse cards. All I wanted was to go in, listen to a cute little story, enjoy crackers, let Grant get his book, and possibly even reward myself with some Starbucks. I didn't think I was setting the bar too high, but obviously I was.
So, we made it out of the store and headed back home. Dad was finishing up the flooring and still using the circular saw which Annie is terrified of. Every time he uses it, she does that scream and cry like she's truly scared out of her skin. So, I ended up having to rock her to sleep for nap time but when I stated to lay her down, she popped right back up and said that she was scared that the saw would get her. Maybe I'm a sucker. I don't know. I took her and put her in my bed. The sheets were still damp from her cup explosion but I just threw a towel over it and figured she'd never notice.
This is the drama that I muddled through before lunch time. I'm just plain old exhausted and I don't really see much relief in the near future. I accept that this is the new "normal" but how do I balance all of this craziness with the kids with the demands of the house, school, and work? That's not even taking into account the fact that I'd like to have a shower at least once a week. I can't continually rely on my parents to watch the inmates but I can't afford to constantly have sitters coming, either.
I did have one small revelation, though, tonight as I worked on some school things after I'd put Annie down. I needed to create a behavior chart for a student who is really struggling to get work finished and work independently. I decided to make the kids chore charts. In my feeble mind, I figure that if the job assignments are written down, I won't have to continally nag at them to take care of business. I still need to come up with consequences or rewards for completing the tasks each week, though.
So, now that it's after 1:00 a.m., I'm going to go and get the last load of laundry out of the dryer and fold it and get ready for Annie's ambush in about five hours.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds and trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (1 Peter 1:6-7)
So, I'm heading to bed to sleep in my still slightly damp bed and hope that tomorrow morning, Annie will decided to use the old game plan of simply calling out to me from her bed.
Good night, all.
