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| Come here, little fellow. I won't hurt you. (The little goat literally butted her. He knew better)! |
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| I'm hoping that this isn't foreshadowing. |
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| Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. NOT! These things were so food motivated that they'd knock you down! |
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| "Again? Again? Mama, I wanna ride again. I ride a horsey to town!" |
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| Isn't he cute? (About the time she said this, he started chewing on the string to her jacket). |
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| Annie wasn't bothered by the goats that kept piling on her. |
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| Dasha, on the other hand, thought it was a little overwhelming! |
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| While the mini goats distracted her, the billy goat on the other side of the fence ate her hair. Oops. |
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| Both girls agreed that they'd ask Santa for a horse like this. Um, NO! |
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| These things were just weird. They were incredibly soft but looked like someone glued the wrong head to their body! |
So, while Grant was off camping and wrangling younger scouts (ha-ha-ha, I knew payback would come one day), the girls and I headed off to the farm. We spent several hours there - most in the mini goat pen. If you didn't know, I HATE goats! I truly believe they are very closely related to Satan! They have weird rectangle pupils and nibble you with germ infested tongues. Uck! However, the girls both loved the miniatures and I felt like I could easily drop kick one of the little munchkins if they got too aggressive. (I seriously dislike goats. Goats and owls)!
Anyway, the girls had fun and I managed to get both girls to take a 2 1/2 hour nap afterwards and I was able to get the house on a path toward cleanliness. Despite my new job charts and ideas about organization, it's just hard to get it right during the week and it takes me all weekend to get things ready to go again on Monday. Blah.
Sunday morning, I admit that I just didn't roll out of bed in time to get everyone up and dressed for church. For some odd reason, Annie slept until 7:00 and then snuggled into my bed with me until nearly 8:30. That's never happened before. I'm terrified that she's getting sick or an alien has taken over her body. Anyway, upon accepting that I wasn't going to make it to church on time, I started trying to reschedule my day. I've been looking high and low for an area rug for the living room. With the new floors down, it's very cold and hard. (Duh, it's a floor). However, I was not prepared for what a rug costs! So, this morning, with both girls in tow, we went to Garden Ridge, Old Time Pottery, and two Big Lots in less than two hours. No luck. I came home and searched overstock.com and did find something reasonably close to what I want and what I can afford. It's sitting in the "cart" waiting for me to make a decision. Ugh. It's a freaking rug! It's not even handmade or one of a kind. It's a R U G! I just need something cushy on the floor so Annie will stop slipping and busting her butt and I will avoid the inevitable fall, as well.
Beyond that, today was quiet. I did manage to make a quick run to Joann's. I absolutely admit that I have a fabric addiction. I could wander around the store and dream up uses for every single piece that I find. Today, I only left with a total of 2 yards. I got two different Halloweenish fabrics to make Annie a skirt out of and a cute fish pattern to make her a dress to wear to the aquarium next weekend. We'll see if all of that actually happens!
So, as I'm wrapping things up for the night, I'm listening to Grant stomping around upstairs. He was none too happy that I insisted that he empty his camping gear and put it away TONIGHT upon arriving home! Last time, I ended up discovering some of his homemade MREs which had molded themselves together. I think it was cheese and summer sausage with grapes. Gross. I had to toss the containers. I was afraid to open them without a Hazmat suit. Anyway, he just came and flashed a ziplock bag at me and told me he was going to put it outside in the garbage can. I didn't ask him why he couldn't put it in the kitchen garbage but he eventually made it crystal clear why he didn't! He said the boys hadn't been able to "bury" their toilet paper at the camp site this weekend and they had to put it into a baggie. Are you kidding me? This is why I don't have any desire to camp with these nutzos! He then went on to tell me about a game called Dead Man Walking that they play that's sort of like (and I quote) "hide and seek on crack." He said that you wait until it's pitch dark and then the boys scatter about in the woods and try to find each other. Stupid me, I asked, "Don't you use your headlamp?" The look I got could have silenced and entire football stadium of fans. I was schooled on the basics of the game at that point. Basically, he and the other older scouts were able to stay hidden in the woods due to their "skills" and the other younger scouts all found each other. I started to ask Grant if he wanted to go play this game in the backyard knowing that I'd be the oldest and I could simply come back into the house and lock him out. What a stupid game! When I'm in charge of a bunch of kids, my ultimate goal is to NOT have them scatter into the darkness but, heck, what do I know? (He's also complaining that his ankle hurts from falling down an embankment in the dark while playing this game. Duh! If he broke it, he can get out his scout book and read up on how to make himself a splint)!
So, tomorrow, my day will consist of getting Dasha to two doctor's appointments and trying to finish up laundry and beginning the job of cleaning out the garage. I've given myself a very stern warning that the garage must be clean before Friday. (Don't worry, I didn't scare myself too bad, though). I bought several plastic tubs to stash items in that stir up emotions. I'll just put those to the side and deal with them as time allows. Now, I know myself well enough that the buckets I bought were pretty small. Me and my smart arse would try to say that everything out there brought back memories - including the caulk gun and the box of nails.
As for my own emotional state, I had quite a breakthrough yesterday as I headed out to rug hunt (trip #1) alone. Instead of pulling up a playlist, I just set my phone to "music" and "shuffle." Of course, the first several songs were complete lovey dovey mushy songs that I deleted from my playlists but not from my main library. I suddenly realized, though, that I was able to make it through the songs, and even sing along, without getting all weepy. The images and feelings that the songs used to conjure up no longer haunt me. It was like someone had deleted the album covers from the iTunes account. It did sting a bit that there really weren't any memories popping up -just nothingness- but, at the same time, I suppose it's a milestone of moving on. I guess I thought that it would take longer to flush 20 years of memories out. (Not to say that all of those flushed memories won't come surging back up from the sewer tomorrow along with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)!
Anyway, as I continued to look back over the last five months and then the last year, the title for the book I'm working on finally came to me. Stumbling Into Strength. It's what I've done. I didn't go looking for strength. I had been content relying on the strength of others. However, I've had to "cowboy up" and look up. On more than one occasion, I've found myself hiding under rocks and trying to run backwards but as I continue on this path which is filled with ruts, pot holes, and booby traps (church giggles, again), I've found the ability to rely on an inner strength that I never really knew was there. Yeah, that strength has seen me through some pretty crappy chapters in my life but I'd never tried to nurture that strength or even acknowledge it. For now, in the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that!"
I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Good night, all.
