No. Not "Must have sleeze." That's not even how you spell it! That kind of sleeze is sleAze! Geez. I'm over here about to drop with exhaustion and I see where your mind is...
Anyway, I'm still alive. I'm just exhausted after a week of intense elbow grease around the house. However, I must say that I'm quite proud of what I've gotten accomplished. The downstairs (minus the powder room with dark green walls infused with dust bunnies) has been revamped, re-curtained, re-decorated, and basically is now all mine. It looks like I want it to. (Oh, minus the hand-me-down couch with the nice blue and yellow country checks. Gag. But, hey, they were clean and free when my parents upgraded)! I'll post pictures tomorrow. I've spent less than $75 cash for everything so that diva on HGTV who claims she can Design on a Dime doesn't have anything on me!
Beyond that, things have been pretty quite. I did watch another birthday pass by. There wasn't much fanfare this year but that was ok. I had a pretty serious case of the "mind storms" on my big day so quiet was a good thing. We also "celebrated" the one year mark since my dad's stroke. It's hard to believe that whole ordeal was only a year ago. Heck, I just can't believe how much has happened in the last year. With every Christmas card I write, I talk about what "season" of my life it is. Well, I'd like to tell you that the "season" for the last year has been Hell but there have been some very good things that have come out of those dark clouds. I've learned a LOT.
Anyway, I have quite a blog entry going on my private site and I think by tomorrow I'll be ready to pull it here to the billboard of my life. As I said, I've dealt with some pretty heavy feelings this week and I try not to spew those recklessly (think projectile vomiting). It's amazing how much I've changed in 5 months. Wow.
So, as for tomorrow, we're headed to the aquarium with Dasha's special needs group. This time last week, my plan had been to stash Annie in the stroller and hope that Dasha wouldn't need me to carry her out. She's really having a hard time but she throws a royal tantrum when we talk about stretching her legs. Her physical therapist even went so far as to tell her that if she continued to ignore the needs of her legs that she'd end up having to have another surgery. Dasha says she doesn't remember the first one so I'm not sure if it even registered with her. I'm lost with how to handle her. (This loss doesn't even begin to cover her attempt to steal M&Ms from Publix this week or the discovery of her love letters to Grant's teachers - yes, she'd already delivered a few without us knowing). Anyway, back to tomorrow. When Annie saw me put the stroller in the back of the van this afternoon in preparation for tomorrow, she went nuts! She sat down in the drive way and wailed, "I not ride in stroller. I walk! I hold Gant's hand!" Blah. So, without further ado, I dug through the newly organized boxes in the garage and found just what I was looking for - a leash. Yep. I found one at TJ Maxx several months ago for less than $5 and I got it just for an occasion like this. Oh crap! I guess I should clarify! When I say "leash," I mean one of those things that is designed to tether a child to a parent. Not a real dog leash. Although, I might need those for Grant and Dasha. Anyway, I'm surprised that I'm really going to use that thing! I've always been SO judgmental of parents who "treat their kids like dogs." That was all before Annie came along. I figure that I can endure her wails throughout the aquarium tomorrow about wanting to walk and then trying to juggle Annie and Dasha with Grant getting completely frazzled and embarrassed OR I can simply leash the girl up! We'll see how it goes. For all I know, she might just unsnap the dumb thing and take off. If you hear that a small child disappeared at the aquarium and showed up in the sea otter enclosure, you don't even need to think twice. I'm sure it will be Annie. (Now, if you hear about a child ending up as shark bait, that might be one of the big kids or me).
I'm heading to bed to collapse. I was waiting up for Grant to get home from the Monster Truck race but I guess he and dad are being really wild and crazy and staying out past 10:00! Oh well. He'll just be a major pain in the butt to drag out of bed in the morning (especially with his 26 mile bike ride this morning - he may be walking funny too)!
So, tomorrow, I'll try to revisit my emotional spewage and repost here so you'll have a bigger picture of what's going on in my cyclonic head. I can tell you that the clouds are beginning to clear although fog frequently sets in. (Anyone else hearing strains of Bob Marley singing, "I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind.
It's gonna be a bright, bright, sun shiny day)? For tonight, though, the only thing I "see" is Mr. Sandman sandblasting my eyeballs shut!
For now,
Good night, all.
