OK. So here's the quick version. It has been a very long week!
Here's the slightly expanded version.
I'm not sure who decided to invent this thing called "middle school" but I'd sure like to meet them. I'm quite sure that they didn't have any kids of their own! In some other language, I believe middle school means "holding tank for emotionally unstable preteens." I don't know what goes on at that place but I'm beginning to get some ideas. Every day, Grant tells me about a video he watched. (Today, was a video on space and asteroids wiping out the Earth. I wish I was kidding). Both kids watched a VERY dramatic video of 9-11 today. Grant gained some new insight. That's fine. However, Dasha gained more information that she just doesn't know how to process. I guess many of the kids cried during the footage which piqued her interest. Just moments ago, I passed by the bathroom door where she was getting a bath and heard her say, "So, you are worried about the terrorists and the Twin Towers? I'll write that down. What else are you thinking about?" It's like she was role playing as a psychologist. I didn't know whether to run away screaming or keep standing there listening. (I did the second and she just kept asking her imaginary client questions about their concerns about 9-11. I now know the questions I need to ask her, though)! Anyway, middle school is just too hard for me! I don't know what goes on. I understand even less based on the kids' renditions of their days. Argh!
Grant has been a complete mess all week! He's struggling with which parent to pledge his allegiance to. Everything I've read says that those types of concerns are normal but Grant never does anything in "normal" style. He has to take everything to an extreme! I don't think there has been a single night this week that he hasn't had a tantrum which involved tears and growling. I ended up simply sending him to his room tonight for being disrespectful to me. Maybe that was wrong and maybe I should have stopped by the bathroom to ask Dasha the psychologist about it but I went with my gut. The situation with having two separate parents isn't going to go away for him and we're all going to have to learn to work through and live through the changes. Stomping, huffing, eye rolling, and using a condescending voice aren't allowed (except by me in extreme situations). It's time I take this house back. I've let him get away with SO much for the last six months because I've felt sorry for him but now, I'm seeing that I've created a monster. I thought about calling the flying monkeys that tormented Dorthy and seeing if they wanted to hire him as an intern or seeing if any theaters in the area were doing the story of the three pigs and needed an understudy for the Big Bad Wolf. Yes, I'm being dramatic but I'm just caught off guard by Grant's sudden moodiness, lack of self control, and general attitude of disrespect. Ack!
Dasha has been equally nuts this week. I won't even begin to go into all of it but she is just determined that if things aren't fun or easy, she won't engage. Her grades continue to fall despite everything I try to do to help (which has become less and less as the week drug on). She's back to eating "non-nutritive" items despite the mega-vitamins I give her. And, her legs are getting worse by the day. She doesn't find her stretching exercises to be very fun and often they are uncomfortable so she has meltdowns when I enforce the exercises. One of her legs is so tight that her whole body is now lilting to the left. This coupled with all of the walking she has to do at school is making her back hurt. It's a major domino effect. Where does it stop? What's the last domino? A wheelchair? She does see a physical therapist at school and privately but the school-based therapist is struggling with her, as well. How do you force a 13 year old to physically do what you want them to? Heck, how to I get her to do ANYTHING I want her to do? I've done positive reinforcements, consequences, and even enlisted my parents to dangle carrots but it just doesn't matter. Blech!
Then, there's Annie. For the next publishing of Webster's Dictionary, you'll find a picture of Annie under "D I V A." Here's another monster creation of mine. Her mouth never stops and she has an opinion of EVERYTHING! Tonight, she could hear the marching band at Etowah High School from the living room. (I had the windows open to let in the cool air). She insisted on going outside to "hear them louder." I didn't realize that she thought they were going to march right down our street. Fail number one! When she calmed down, she was intent to hear the drums. I'll have to take the kids to a football game one night. Annie would love the band and I think the big kids would enjoy the game. Anyway, here's part of my conversation with Annie. As you can tell, she requires very little verbal response from me other than the obligatory, "Uh huh. Yes. Really?"
Like I said, it's been a long week. Tomorrow morning, I get to drop Dasha off for 4 hours of respite care. I hate to admit it, but I'm really looking forward to it. It's so hard to find activities to entertain everyone in the house! It's hard for us to even enjoy the same movie together. We can't do any physical activities right now with Dasha so that cuts out a lot of things. Grant doesn't appreciate anything with a hint of a girly flair. And, Annie just isn't old enough to do some things. (Don't tell her that. She wouldn't agree). I don't know what we'll do tomorrow but I'm thinking that Starbuck's Passion Tea and Barnes and Noble would be a good start. I can watch Annie take over the island nation of Sodor while playing with Thomas the train and Grant can wander around looking at books. I don't know.
On the emotional front, I'm holding up. This weekend wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. Eric's friend came with him and Grant met her. I was unbelievably ok with it. The girls haven't really said too much about the visit but it just stirred up Grant's yearning to be with his dad. Grant had decided that he was going to go to TX for September break to be with Eric and then basically told Eric that I'd ok'd the deal. That whole situation unraveled into a big mess but that was after Eric had already gone "home" so that was my Labor Day and Tuesday night drama. (My answer would have been, "No," in the beginning if Grant had bothered to check his flight plan through me. However, the, "No," he ended up getting came with quite a bit of scolding). Anyway, right now, I'm on a pretty level playing field when it comes to accepting that I'm a single mom without a husband. My ups and downs are based on the trials that the kids are throwing my way right now. I've done this coaster long enough to know that all of this could change at a snap of someone's fingers and without good reason but for this moment, I'm going to enjoy thinking that I know what's going on in my emotional world.
So, I'm heading to bed knowing that tomorrow, I'll drop Dasha off and then try to do something mildly entertaining with Grant and Annie, and then get to come home to finish laying the flooring. We still have to finish the foyer. (There was a bit of a speed bump when we found that there was an entire nation of ants living underneath the slab and underneath the door jamb. Termites plus ants. This pest control service is going to get rich off of my critters)! So, it'll be a fun Saturday! Hopefully I'll have enough energy left over to begin cleaning out the garage. I've started the task three or four times only to run across sentimental items and give up. Maybe I just need to go to WalMart and buy the biggest plastic tub I can find and put all of the things that stir up my emotions in the box and throw the lid on so I can deal with them a little at a time. Oh well.
Good night, all.
