My first stop was WalMart. I needed some thread to finish sewing a dress. Of course, WalMart didn't have anything even close to the color I needed. Crap. That leaves me with driving toward the mall to Hobby Lobby or Joann's. I hadn't anticipated taking Annie into either one of those stores. Oh well. I didn't really have a choice in the matter. I sorted through my coupon envelope and realized I had a 40% off coupon at Hobby Lobby so I headed there. While trying to find the right color of thread, Annie spontaneously started playing house in the fabric section. She walked in between each rack of fabric and named off what room it was. She said the area between the two racks of baby fabrics was for her cousin Anderson. I asked her where my room was and she quickly pointed away from the fabric section down toward the seasonal area and said, "You can just go over there." Nice. I'll remember that when she wants to crash in my bed tomorrow! Anyway, she chose her "room" and quickly laid down on the bottom section of the rack and said, "Night, night. I need a get some rest so I'm not fussy." I left her there and finished looking for my thread. Don't panic. I could see her and she could see me. But, as I guessed, her "nap" didn't last too long. She popped up and said, "Good morning. I so glad to see you!" (That's what Fatima tells her when I drop her off each morning). So, my quick thread run turned into about 30 minutes of playing house in the fabric section. At first, I was antsy and ready to get out of that place (I'm sure that feeling is still related to my van flooding in the parking lot) but I quickly realized that I'll never be able to recapture the moments of playing house with her between the bolts of fabric. So, I joined her. We got weird looks from a few customers but most of the patrons in that section were older ladies who recognized the moment for what it was and ask Annie if they could look in her room or where the kitchen was. Annie had declared the area with the novelty fabrics which had some with coffee mugs and others with cherries as the kitchen. Duh!
Wanna know the crappy part of the whole story? When I finally convinced Annie to leave her house, I'd picked up a coloring book (yeah, you got me, I bribed her out of the store with a coloring book - like you've never had to do that to avoid an all out melee) and I completely forgot to get my thread. I put it down at some point and just never picked it back up again. I started to turn around and go back but I decided that I'd just roll that task over to tomorrow.
When I got home, the big kids were both out back playing in the sand. Honestly! Sand, crayons, and Legos are the only toys in this house that transcend all age groups.
I put Annie down for a nap and conked out, too. Playing house was just too intense for me (coupled with not going to bed until after 2:00 a.m. the last two nights).
However, there was no escaping the garage after nap time. It's been haunting me for weeks now and I'd like to think that I just wasn't emotionally ready to dig through everything that's been piled out there but I think the bigger excuse was that the job was just too big and I didn't want to start it! So, with the girls stationed in the drive way around a bucket of sand and Grant standing by looking like I'd ask him to go to a tea party, we started moving boxes out of the garage. Heck. It wasn't as bad as I'd anticipated. Most of the boxes that had to be opened and examined were ones that were packed two years ago in anticipation of moving to Lubbock. They were shipped to a storage building in Lubbock and then when things went south last October, they were brought back to Georgia. Like I said, the majority of the boxes were full of books. We have enough books to start our own library. It would be pretty heavy on military fiction and non-fiction, parenting books, grad school books that I never tried to sell back (need to try to find a place to do that), and enough children's books to fill up a school's library. Nothing sentimental other than a few titles that were nothing more than ironic which dealt with marriage or family. After putting all of Grant's camping gear in one area, the books in another, and mounding up the Christmas decorations which need a new box, there were only a few boxes left. One box simply said, "Ansley, Kids Pictures, Kids Stuff." I was wearing down physically (this was nearly 4 hours into the job) and I just didn't think I could stomach it so I stashed it to the side. I'll open that one another day. The other "box" that was haunting me was my cedar hope chest filled with my wedding stuff. I opened the lid just to "smell the cedar" but the memories came seeping out and just about unraveled me. I picked up one old letter from the top of the chest and scanned through it. The last phrases that were written on the letter were just simply too ironic. (I'm using that word instead of saying that the words were hurtful because at the time they were written, they were precious). I swear there are some times when I think there's something inside of me that wants me to crawl into a hole and have a pity party. Why in the world did I even open up the chest? If that wasn't stupid enough, why would I pick up a letter? Dumb, dumb, dumb. Maybe it's just emotions. Who knows. I managed to close the chest up like Ghostbusters trapping a ghost in their little metal box and finish up the job.
Or, I thought I finished it up. As I swept out the few remaining areas of floor space, I swept a package of RTV compound out from under a shelf. Yep. That was the breaking point. Not the books, not the pictures, the RTV compound. (If you don't know what RTV is, it's something like silicone that you use to "glue" junk together - especially cars). The RTV didn't remind me specifically of Eric. It reminded me of the security of having someone on hand to help take care of things when they break or blow up. You just never know what a comfort that is until it's gone. He'd used the RTV to patch a crack in my oil pan. If that happened today, I'd either have to ask Dad to help fix it or go pay mega bucks to have a "professional" do it. These are the kind of grenades that blow up in your face that you didn't see coming. There's absolutely no sentimental value in that stupid package of RTV (now in the garbage) but it just represents a comfort and security that I sorely miss.
After the garage was cleaned and pictures of the crap I need to get rid of were taken for Craig's List, the kids and I grabbed a $5 pizza for dinner. If you're in the Towne Lake area, you need to try Pizza Pilot. You can get $5 pizzas for pick up and they are way better than Little Ceasars. Ugh.
I had one final project on my list for today. I've been looking at a blank wall in my dining room since repainting and trying to figure out what to do there. I saw a really neat picture of a room where some decorative person had hung these beautiful plates with fancy ribbon from a curtain rod. I finally figured out where to buy those beautiful plates and I quickly realized that they just weren't THAT beautiful! However, I didn't dismiss the idea from my mind completely. Then, when I was in Old Time Pottery on Sunday, I saw these neat metal stars. They were painted a horrid reddish-orange color but you can change just about anything with Krylon! So, I bought a few of the stars and repainted them. (Pretty sad that the spray paint cost more than the silly stars). Then, I disassembled the curtains in my bedroom and transplanted the rod into the dining room. This is what I ended up with. I must say that I like it. I put some of those silly little touch lights behind the stars and it just gives it a magical glow. You can't tell that from the picture, though. I'm still working on the bows for the stars. I may have to enlist help from a bow-making friend at school. I'm used to tying shoes and hair ribbons. NOT making picture perfect package bows. Anyway, it's a work in progress but it's something that I wanted to do and, by golly, I figured out a way to make it happen!
So, I'm heading to bed tonight knowing that tomorrow will be a very LONG day! I was stupid and made doctor's well-check appointments for BOTH girls for tomorrow morning. Both girls have to have shots. Dasha seems nearly immune to pain so the shot won't bother her but I have some definite questions I'd like to ask the doctor about this whole "transition to be a woman" crap (like should I be worried that Dasha's boobs are still VERY different sizes) and I'm not sure how to tactfully ask those questions with both girls there. Maybe I should write the questions down and have the doctor call me. Anyway, then, Dasha has an appointment to get her new braces tomorrow afternoon. The appointment itself is not dramatic. It's getting her to wear those braces that becomes the struggle. The braces (orthotics) for her shoes aren't that bad but the night splints / braces are the ones that she sneaks off in the middle of the night. Blah. Anyway, back to the well-check appointments. Why do they ask stupid questions on these questionnaires that force you to lie? For example, "Does your child use a pacifier?" If I say, "Yes," I'm setting myself up for a lecture. I know it's a bad habit. I know it'll only get harder to get rid of. I know it's screwing up her teeth and her speech. BUT, is the doctor willing to come put her to bed at night without it? That's what I thought! Another question says, "How much television does your child watch each day?" My answer should be, "It depends on mom's mental stability as to how much she watches!" I do love my pediatrician but sometimes, in their plight to make everyone do everything according to Academy of Pediatrics recommendations, they lose sight of real life!
Anyway, time for one more load of laundry and bed. I'm determined to actually fall asleep before 2:00 tonight! I've just had a hard time turning off the washing machine of thoughts in my head. Currently, I've got it set to spin cycle so I hope it won't get off balance and just stop mid-cycle. I NEED SLEEP before tomorrow's fun begins!
Good night, all!
