Saying that it's been, "One of those weeks," just doesn't even begin to cut it! It's been one of those weeks that would have made any sane person reevaluate their life and simply shake their head and then do a Google search for "psychiatric help." Me, on the other hand, came out relatively unscathed and just a little tired.
Every afternoon last week involved some sort of "out of the ordinary" planning. From having Grant's gangrene hand checked out to picking up Dasha's braces, it was just enough to put a ding in my my numb force field, though.
This week (and last week) at school, we're hosting the Boosterthon team. Yes, these guys come in and help our school raise an incredible amount of money but they're like Wiggles on steroids! I swear that they all have Red Bull IVs tucked into a vein somewhere! Anyway, my "kids" won a poster contest this week that I didn't know about until I was leaving school last Friday. So, I spent my Sunday night on the patio spray painting a big foam board so that my "students" could finish the poster. Bottom line, my "kids" won the contest and got to have time on Friday afternoon in a bounce house. OK. Let's look at this logistically. There's one of me. There are 21 of them. Hmmmm... 1 to 21 ratio of 8 year olds to adults. The odds were stacked against me to start with. I did my darnedest to lay out my expectations about rough housing and other such activities prior to leaving the classroom. (Did I also mention that I have way more boys than girls in my classroom)? When we finally left the classroom and headed to Romper Room, the kids all started eying me like they were all waiting for some undisclosed signal to surround me, tie me up, and have their own way in the bounce houses! I was wrong. They actually did a great job! Whew! However, the liability of being responsible for someone else's kid in one of those inflatable death traps was nothing short of nerve racking. I started the time trying walk between the two inflatables and monitor. I'd split the kids into four groups and had planned to rotate them very methodically. Ha! When will I ever learn? Eventually, all of the kids sort of figured out where they wanted to play and settled in. At that point, I stationed myself at the bottom of the huge slide and simply took pictures. I figured that I'd at least be able to have a picture to show their parents to prove that I truly was monitoring the situation! After our time was up, all 21 kids and I walked away without having any major injuries. (One student did knee himself in the mouth and cause one of the brackets of his braces to split his lip. He opted for "self-care" and continued to play)!
And, that was the drama that closed out my school week. However, I brought home my own assignments which are still sitting neatly in the back of the van. Between yearbook layouts, grant writing, and planning for next quarter, I'm still not ahead of the game.
OK. So, that was kind of long-winded just to give you an example of what a "normal" day looked like for me last week. I'm so thankful to have tomorrow off. Although, when I get my check at the end of the month and I'm missing a day's pay, I think the glory will wane.
While I don't have the extracurricular drama scheduled for this week like last week, the week started off with a birthday party today that was nothing short of... well, wowzers. The party was at a cute little "farm" in downtown Roswell. It was like an old house where each room had been turned into a themed playroom. Then, the outside was simply whimsical. Twinkle lights, fairy wings, and tutus were everywhere! Though all of the other guests were 7ish, Dasha fit right in.
The main activity at the party was a spa. The girls had facials, manicures, and pedicures. I started off on Dasha duty and Grant took Annie. (This was my little cousin's party so family from AL was there. This meant that Grant was forced to go and visit with them. He was NOT thrilled with the girly-ness of the situation). Anyway, as I watched Dasha, I noticed that she wasn't listening to what the host was saying. She was simply waiting to see what the other girls were doing around her. I'll admit that these kinds of situations make me very nervous. I like to fade into the background in social situations like this and I just don't have any need to "stand out." Dasha, on the other hand, enjoys being in the spot light and will do nearly anything to get herself there. Many times, her attempts to gain the spotlight are nothing short of embarrassing in my book. However, others keep telling me that the things she does aren't that outlandish. I don't know. I feel so guilty admitting that I'm nervous that she's going to do something ridiculous and I hover over her to try to squelch anything out of the ordinary that she might say or do. So, I just stood over her. Am I waiting to catch her being "bad?" I don't think so. But, as I watched, I noticed that she was watching the girls around her more than the host. This has NEVER been the case before! If you ask her what she perceives that others think about her, she will look at you cluelessly and tell you that she didn't know other people even have thoughts about her. (So many times, I've asked her something like, "What do you think your school friends would think if they saw you eating like that?)" So, why was she watching the other kids? I was dumbfounded. When we got home, I asked her. She told me that she couldn't see the host (remember the failed eye test with the new glasses) and she couldn't hear the directions (remember that audiology appointment she has on Thursday). Really? How could this be?
So, I'm left with trying to figure out what to do. She has brand new glass AND just had another vision test. The doctor won't give her a stronger prescription right now. As for the hearing, who knows.
I just feel helpless with her. Some days, she seems to have it together. Other days, I feel lucky if I can treat her like a five year old. How can she memorize how to play a song on the piano and keep that in her memory for weeks but can't remember a simple addition fact or even her phone number? I understand the logistics of how this can happen. (I have a degree in educational neurobiology. Of course I know what the text books say). But, putting this into daily living experiences is maddening. As we got ready to go to the party this afternoon, I went to help Dasha with her hair and couldn't even get the brush through it. Her hair was hard as a rock on top. It was like she'd shellacked it. Had she put gel in it? Had she found my hairspray? What in the world? Questioning her is like being trapped in the "Who's on First" joke. You ask a question. She gives you an answer that doesn't answer your question. So, after a very long Q&A session, I found out that Dasha has been out of shampoo for over a week now. Crap. Her hat hair was actually nothing shy of an oil slick that had simply congealed. I should take complete responsibility. I know. But, why in the world couldn't she have told me that she was out of shampoo? How hard is that? Should I be bathing her every single night? I do help her get into the tub and get the water started but I let her do the scrubbing. Ugh. I don't know what to do.
Currently, she's upstairs reading. Remember those book reports that keep "sneaking" up on us? Yep. She had another one due last Friday that I was clueless about. It wasn't written in her agenda until Saturday. She knows enough to cover her tracks and go back and write missing assignments in her agenda after the fact. But, that's not even my biggest gripe. The teachers have yet to take any "points" away from her. She misses assignments weekly but there is absolutely NO consequence at school. Mean mom is the only one that's fussing about it! But, Grant has missed several points for having to go back to his locker for a forgotten item or for missing a homework assignment. I'm going to have to set up a conference with the teachers. I feel like I'm left with two choices. Choice one is to leave her in general education classes where she only picks up minimal understanding but is surrounded by mainstream peers. Choice two is to have her put into resource classes where she might simply be stuffed on a computer every day and not learn anything (we know this from prior experience) and be surrounded by other special needs students. To an outsider, the choice would be to obviously go with option one. However, option one leaves me constantly struggling to fill in the gaps, figure out the missing pieces, and try to convince her that she, too, has to follow the rules even if she doesn't receive any consequences. I'm pulling my hair out and the other two kids are suffering because of it, too. From 4:00 to 9:00 each night, I'm focused on Dasha and getting her assignments completed. Many nights, we have to complete things that she didn't finish in class, too! (Heck, she has a para pro! Where is this para pro when Dasha is staring into space and not doing her work)? I wish I had the resources to put her in a special school where they could teach her on her level (third gradeish) and fill in the gaps that are still missing from her time in the orphanage.
Please don't think that I don't love her. I do. I'm just stumped as to how to parent her. I don't know what's best for her and I feel completely lost with her right now. She frustrates my perfectionist tendencies to no end but has her own set of gifts that needs to be developed. How do I do that?
Then, there's Annie. I don't understand her, either! She is such an adventurer and doesn't have any need to fade into the background. She will run to the middle of a room and "tap it out" or hold her own ballet in the middle of an aisle in WalMart. She's full of life. You know, when I stumbled into this journey, there were many nights when I thought that having a two year old along for the journey would make things more complicated because I couldn't reason with her. I've changed my mind. Despite the fact that she has Eric's soul and completely reminds me of him in so many ways, she is full of life and keeps me going. She gives without expectation (unless you have food) and receives with the excitement that you only see in children. But, I still don't understand what motivates her. She's stubborn and will get what she wants no matter what anyone says! There is a definite reason that children are meant to have two parents. Two heads are better than one. Not a day passes when I don't worry that I'm squelching her spirit and putting limitations on her abilities that Eric would be better to direct since they're so similar. However, all I can say is that I'm doing the best I can. God has to know and see that and be making provisions for her. I will do whatever is necessary to mold her into the person she's meant to be but for now, the mold I'm holding simply has a big question mark across it.
While I'm on the subject of kids, I might as well go ahead and throw Grant into the discussion. Thank goodness, the mega antibiotics that he's been on for the last few days have helped his hand. The swelling is down considerably and he's beginning to regain movement in his thumb. Whew! The next time he has a scouting adventure, I'm going to bubble wrap him! And, I'm going to ask the scouts to have a refresher course in wound cleaning! Step one should be to clean the area! Step two should THEN be to apply Neosporin and a Band-Aid. Leaving out step one doesn't produce fantabulous results! I'm not going to go into sloppy emotional details about Grant tonight. There's just not enough time. Some days, I understand him. Other days, I'm clueless. My confusion with him, though, is simply due to the fact that I've never been a preteen male. (Yeah, I know. Big newsflash)!
So, tonight I find myself not understanding my children. I'm on a day-to-day basis with them. You know those desk calendars that they sell at Christmas time that have a page to tear off each day? I need one of those with parenting instructions for each day of the year. Had I had a calendar like that, October 7th should have said, "If you have a preteen male, do not text him lovey things - even if you just want to check on his life-threatening injury." Boy, having something like that sure would have saved me some drama on Friday! Yesterday's page would have probably said, "Do not assume that your 13 year old will express her toiletry needs to you. Give her a checklist to fill out each week." Maybe that would have saved me the helmet hair drama from this morning. And, hopefully, somewhere in that calendar, a page would have a pointer that says something like, "Do not remove your toddler's Pull Up on freshly washed sheets. The mere smell of clean linens will make her forcefully pee and soak the sheets." If anyone runs across a calendar like that, please let me know. Or, if any of you have Dr. James Dobson on speed-dial, I'd be more than happy to have his number. I think when he got a glimpse of the Randolph kids' profile, he might give up on publishing parenting strategies. Maybe I should just research what types of literature jail wardens read to know how to handle their inmates. That might be a better parallel. (If that didn't work, I could find a zoology book). Whew!
I'm headed to bed (after I change the sheets that Annie peed on and then sat on with diaper rash cream on her bare butt). I finally got my picture wall finished in the foyer and it feels good to mark a completed project off of my list. The only piece that I still haven't finished in the foyer is finding the correct light bulb to go into the Ikea sconce. Who knew that it took a weird bulb that I should have bought while I was there? I really don't want to go downtown to buy one light bulb. That's kind of like sending an alcoholic into a bar to get a glass of water. Ikea is definitely like kryptonite to my budget and going there for simply a light bulb would be a challenge. I'd have to leave my debit card in the car and take in exact change. Argh! Those darn Swedes! But, I am really pleased with all of the "home makeover" jobs I've done in the last few weeks and proud that I've done them all on such a budget. Who knew that a little Krylon over a table from Good Will could give you a completely new and unique piece of furniture? When I get everything finished, I guess a tour might be in order. Virtual field trip? So, for tonight, I am heading to bed. Tomorrow, I'd planned to take the kids to the apple orchard but the forecast is calling for rain and, honestly, I don't know how I'd manage to get Dasha around on the uneven terrain. I have orchard and pumpkin patch coupons from Groupon that both expire at the end of this month so I have to figure out the timing soon!
Anyway, good night, all!
