Charlie Brown's Teacher and Monster Spray

Yep. This about says it all. Just when I think I have things mildly under control and can collapse onto the sofa without worry that the house will burn down around me, this kind of thing happens. What makes children so darn strong willed? She says she wants milk (warmed). I don't get it fast enough. She decides to get it herself. She managed to open the refrigerator, get the milk, get a cup, and was opening the microwave when I found her. Heaven forbid, I was trying to change the loads of laundry. The bright side of this is that she hadn't tried to actually pour the milk into the cup yet. Ugh.

So, it's Friday night and supposed to be my favorite night. I'm beginning to think that there's not ever going to be a favorite night again because they all seem quite alike at this point. If I'm not putting out fires (like the one Annie could have started), I'm trying to keep up with the chores. If I'm not doing chores of some sort, I'm mucking through tweenage drama. Pardon my selfishness, but when I do simply get a night off?

I did manage to make it through school this week. That's another bright spot. This week was supposed to have been a bit less stressful than last week but that sure didn't work out.

While the Boosterthon team was at our school, I got a letter full of rage from a nutty parent wanting me to know that she completely disagrees with fundraisers and just wants to give a flat donation. Um, well. First of all, why blast me about it and why don't you just do it? This set the tone for the rest of the week. We also had benchmark testing which doesn't mix well with Boosterthon. It's kind of like feeding a kid a whole bunch of Varsity dogs and then putting them on a roller coaster that is on a direct flight without any stops. So, after doing my darndest to bribe the kids to do their best, here's what I got.

This was the science benchmark finale. I'd already told this kid's mom that he was having a hard time getting through the entire test each day and was getting lost in daydreams. I think I simply sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher to her. We'll see what she has to say when she gets the email with this picture attached. (No, I'm not heartless enough to not notice the sad face on the creature. I see it). Do parents think that I really like taking my own personal time to call and gripe about their child? Believe it or not, I have much better things to do with my time - like getting Annie her milk before she does it herself! I just want to meet the folks that think all of this standardized testing is appropriate for eight year olds. Come on! I can't begin to tell you how many kids were sucking their thumbs by 2:00 this afternoon. They were exhausted. They couldn't even hide those sleepy little secrets that normally only sneak out when they are at home sacked out on the sofa! And, the crying... Oh, the crying. I had kids crying this week that probably wouldn't shed a tear if you stuck an arrow through their arm. Anxiety, excitability, and exhaustion just don't make great foundations for testing how much a kid has retained.

Let's add to the drama of dealing with a classroom of mostly melting down kids, writing a grant proposal in less than a week, picking new insurance plans, finalizing report cards, and attending to various other silly jobs!

For Grant, keeping up with his homework has become my burden. I can't recount how many times he's told me that he finished his homework in class only to find out that it wasn't completely finished and he thought he'd be able to finish it during homeroom. He's also given me the slip about tests. When questioned, he tells me that he knows everything and got a great grade. Usually by the next afternoon, I have an email from the online grade book saying otherwise. So, I now get to go back to holding his hand through homework every night in order to keep his grades up. Should I care? Should I just let him fall on his face and get kicked out of advanced classes? I just don't know. He's SO capable but he's just not motivated. Blah!

For Dasha, a trip to the audiologist proved to be nothing less than interesting. Remember how she failed the school's hearing test? Well, the school wanted me to take her to the county audiologist but they only had appointments during school hours which would have required me to take another day off work. Ugh. I only have so many days to spare and I'd much prefer to use those when one of the crumb snatchers is really sick! So, the pediatrician advised that I take her to a private practice. Yeah, no surprise there. Ka-ching! They saw "co-pay" written all over that one! So, my mom was generous enough to deliver Dasha to the appointment. The discovery... she has fluid behind her ear drums. To most kids, they'd be shrieking in pain. To Dasha, nothing. We've had this problem before. So, as Grant finishes up his antibiotics, Dasha will start a round of her own to take care of the fluid. Then, hmmmm, yip, we have to go back for a recheck. Ka-ching! Seriously! I'm convinced that by the end of the month, the co-pays will surpass the mortgage! Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful that I'm not paying completely out of pocket but this is getting old. Dasha's hearing was impacted slightly on one side by the fluid but she can certainly hear well enough to know what we're saying to her!

For Annie, well, there's not much to say there beyond, "She's Annie." She's still working on the potty training issue. She does beautifully at the sitter's house and even wore "real" panties today. However, when we get home, NOPE! In fact, when I went to change her Pull Up tonight, she peed right on my bed - again! What the heck! It's like she's a dog marking her territory! That's the fourth time she's peed on my bed. Do you know what a pain in the butt it is to strip a king sized bed and change the sheets?

I mean, look at her! This is what she deems appropriate table manners. Her butt never lands in the seat. And lately, both feet don't even touch the chair. The sitter swears to me that she sits at the table there. Ugh.

For me, well, there's just not too much to say. I know that I'm in a bad place when my dad tells me I need to get some rest. (This coming from a man who might not notice if one of my arms was missing). I've had less than five hours of sleep per night for the last couple of weeks and then in the other 21 hours, I've gone non-stop. Yes, I'm tired but if I stop, who will pick up the pieces when they start to fall? Trying to juggle work, side jobs, kids, homework, and chores - all of those things are necessary. It's not like I'm trying to play golf five days a week and could just drop an extra curricular activity. Nope. The minute laundry becomes and extra curricular activity, please let me know.

Yes, it all seems to be doom and gloom. That's not true. There has definitely been laughter and playfulness within the house and at school. In fact, the biggest laugh of all came from Annie this week. She's suddenly become "scared" of monsters and yells and carries on when she sees something she deems as scary. I thought I was being a super mom and grabbed the squirt bottle of water from my bathroom that I use to tame her mane in the mornings and told her that it was "monster spray" and would get rid of the scary things. It worked beautifully that night. However, when I went to fix her hair the next morning and used the same spray bottle, she started screaming at me and melting down (not what I enjoy at 6:15 a.m.). She said, "I not a scary monster! Don't use that on me!" Oh. Hmmm... Point taken. She went to the sitter's house with crazy hair and I added "spray bottle" to my grocery list. Like I said, there are definitely moments of fun but once the kids are in bed, it's like the clouds descend and the reality of my current life closes in on me. Bills, the future, the kids, Christmas, divorce, keeping up with the pace of things... all of those monsters start to haunt me and they don't seem to respond to the monster spray. (However, I think there are some people who resort to alcohol as their own personal monster spray and I can certainly understand why).

So, as I wrap up for the evening, I am waiting for a load of laundry including Grant's scout attire to finish up. Grant has to be at a scout clinic at 6:45 in the morning. Dasha has her respite day at 10:00. So, Annie and I will.... who knows.

Good night, all.