Safe

Happy birthday to a 12 year old who knows more about living than most adults

County science fair

Accepting 2nd place in microbiology against a bunch of 12th graders

Annie's first hair cut

 This week was a non-stop barrage of events and escapades. While Grant's birthday and science fair win were definitely high points of the week, they were gut wrenchingly bittersweet, as well. He's 12. He's not looking for my stamp of approval. He simply wants his dad. When I texted Eric a picture of the 2nd place ribbon, Grant got teary eyed and then mad at me for some ridiculous reason. I'm guessing this is what the next few years will look like for me. Next week, we'll celebrate Dasha's 14th birthday and hopefully have a few minutes to catch our breath from the past week. I don't have too much to spill right now. I'm just kind of in a holding pattern. If I move to the left or right, I might just lose my grip and slip off of the edge of solid ground. So, I'll keep still for now until I can regain some strength and process the piles of poo that seem to be building up around my ankles. In one of those piles is a final court date with a little memo attached saying that I'll have to do quite a bit of retelling and talking with the judge and that one session might not put an end to this nightmare that I'm walking through. I may have to be poked, prodded, and tortured a second day (or more) to satisfy the questions and time constraints of this judge. Like I said, I'm going to stand very very still as if I were hunting for rabbits like Elmer Fudd and wait for my strength to return. In my current state, the decisions I make aren't rational. The projects I finish are half-a@@ed. And, my heart just isn't in it right now.

This completely sums up my position right now. I just want to let the guard down and be safe for a while.

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong he'll never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

 Good night, all.