Sewage leaks and Lurking Monsters

OK. I'm still alive. I'm still amazed at the emails and messages that overflowed from my boxes to make sure I hadn't committed myself to some asylum or been locked up at the Sheriff's Office. It's nice to feel loved! :)

If I didn't completely turn the lights off, shut the elevator down, and loose all of my marbles today, it won't happen.

Here's a quick recap before I crash into bed.

1) 6:00 a.m. - I got up early to shower and try to make myself semi-presentable for the conference this afternoon. Thinking that I had somewhat accomplished that feat, I headed downstairs. However, when I stepped off of the bottom step this morning, I found myself standing in water. Someone (I'm thinking the only male in the house) stopped up the toilet last night but didn't bother to tell me and for some reason, the water had seeped out of the bathroom, into the foyer, and stunk up the entire downstairs. This was NOT a job for a towel. I can't quite remember the exact number of new expletives my children learned from me this morning. I absolutely have to get a rein on my tongue. I'm convinced that my temper is directly tied to my tongue. Whew. However, due to the minor flooding of sewage, breakfast became a second thought. I hustled the kids out of the door. By this time, I was crying (the expletives had ceased spilling forth), the kids were scared that I was really losing it, and it was stinking cold!

2) Did I mention that I was still wide awake at 3:30 this morning? Sleep just would not claim me. I even took a swig of NyQuil at 1:00 a.m. When I'm sleepy, nothing is right. So, about 6:45, I called my teammate and made a plea for her to call me a sub for a 1/2 day. I was on the edge of a real breakdown and I had poo water to clean up before it seeped underneath the flooring and caused even more damage.

3) 7:00 a.m. - Chick-fil-A drive through. I can get away with not feeding Annie breakfast. She eats at Fatima's every morning despite what I might feed her. However, Grant and Dasha aren't so keen on starving. So, I ordered their breakfasts and my diet lemonade and headed for school. Somehow, I got behind every single Cherokee County bus. I didn't get to school until 7:20 this morning. That's the latest I've gotten to school in years! I hate to be late!

4) 11:15 a.m. - I handed my class off to a lady name Mrs. D with an island accent and made a run for the van. The van has become my safe-house. I sat in the van and simply cried. No hysterics. Just crying. I'm not even sure what I was crying about. I finally collected my remaining senses and drove home. It took the next hour and a half to clean up the now congealed sewage from the floor. I mopped the floor about 3 times with new water every time just because I didn't even want to believe that poo germs were stuck in the wood. Ugh. My naked feet walk on that floor. Annie wallows around on that floor. Gross. Then, I decided to put the last coat of spray paint on my Goodwill find of an end table. I felt a moderate amount of success upon the completion of that job. However, stupid me left the table on the patio when I went back to school and it got rained (poured) on and warped. Yip. That would be my luck. If you're wondering, the table is still sitting on the patio. I didn't even bother to try bringing it in.

5) 2:00 - I finished up sewing a bag I'd started for Annie only to realize that I snipped the seams too close and cut through the sides of the bag. Okeedokee then.... I crossed that off of my "to do" list. My list didn't say anything about making a bag with a solid structure. Deconstructed is the new look for jeans. Maybe I'll start a trend in toddler bags, too.

6) 3:00 - Headed for the middle school. I knew I'd be a little bit early so I ended up parking in the church parking lot and crying some more. For real? Where are these tears coming from? You'd think I was PMSy or something. I was worried about what Eric would say. I was worried about having to sit in his general vicinity for more than two seconds. Could I hold it together? I was lucky enough that some old employees from Little River saw me along the way and I was able to chat with them when I arrived at the school and had to sit in the cold lobby where the potential for awkward moments was maximized.

7) The conference was just fine. We learned that Dasha had made a name for herself with other guy teachers and seems to have quite a few crushes. Nice. I'll add this to my list of concerns with her. It seems that one teacher had to threaten to "sign her agenda" if she didn't stop hugging on him. Ugh. There weren't any surprises beyond that, though. And, I have to admit that I wasn't really surprised. She just wants attention from males. She always has.

8) Left the middle school. Went to mom's house. Picked the three tornadoes up. Took them home and delivered them to Eric. He wanted to take them to eat. Ok. So, they left and I was lost. I know, I know. I say I want to get rid of them for a while and then I say that I want them back. The grass is always greener on the other side. So, I sat and ate a bowl of Cheerios while the power blinked off for a while. Then, I graded math tests, watched two episodes of Sister Wives, and finished off the Snickers from Halloween. Nice compliment to the Cheerios! I'm sure my blood sugar will be out of whack in the morning. But, my biggest monsters of the night showed up while I was curled up on the sofa with my math tests and the cat. For some reason, I thought the kids would be back around 6:15. Now, I can't trust that I heard that correctly because any direct verbal communication between us seems to get garbled somewhere between his mouth and my ears. But, I started wondering if maybe he would actually take the kids and leave. ??? I don't think he would but... So, those "what if monsters" danced in my head for over an hour. Should I text Grant? No. I don't want Eric to think I'm checking up on them. But, what if they're headed for the state line? I seriously never even fathomed that this would be a monster that would lurk in my mind. Trusting someone with your kids is a big deal especially when that trust has been so badly broken. Back when all of this first happened, I used to have these very vivid dreams that Eric and his friend would swoop in and take the kids and disappear forever. I still get teary eyed thinking of that vision of Annie screaming out for me. Maybe that's why I got so crazy tonight. That whole dream was just so persistent and so dang real. Night after night, I'd wake up crying and be left with nothing but the vision of Annie reaching out for me and me feeling helpless. Blah. I'd like to put a permanent lock on the box that contains that stupid dream.

Ok, ok, ok. We've already had this discussion before and I said I wasn't even going to post anything this week. However, I'm hoping that by purging my thoughts here, they won't follow me to bed tonight. I'm stinking exhausted. I need to leave the monsters behind on this screen and not under the covers with me.

So, I'm heading to bed knowing that the alarm will go off way too early in the morning. I'm also going to make sure that all toilets are flushed and all children are really tucked (glued) into their beds so I'm not greeted with another sewage leak in the morning. I'd threaten to put everyone back in diapers if this happens again but that would be way too expensive!

Good night, all.