Annie doesn't understand the idea of having a day off or of this "time change" thing. So, she woke me up this morning by standing next to my bed and saying, "Mama, mama. You sleeping?" The clock clearly read 5:23. I pulled her in bed with me and handed her my phone so she could watch a video. That lasted for about 20 minutes. (Dear Nick Jr., you need to make a feature length Fresh Beat Band episode, please, that lasts longer than 20 minutes). So, at 5:45, I crawled out of bed and started a load of laundry. By 7:00, Annie and I had eaten breakfast and she had drawn me a "map" of what she wanted to do for the day. She thinks that she is Dora and loves maps. I can't even think about taking her into a store without giving her an index card with some things for her to check off and a silly "map."
We planned to MAKE play dough using a new recipe I found on Pinterest which used Jello. The only stores open at 7:00 a.m. are WalMart and Kroger so we opted for WalMart. We picked out grape, strawberry, orange, and blue explosion Jello and cream of tartar and headed back home.
Then, the real mess started.
At first, she didn't understand why the Jello boxes didn't have play dough in them. I guess she didn't understand that we had to cook it. (That was a very frustrating conversation). So, in the end, the dough was cooked and Annie went off to happily play with it.
By this time, Grant had crawled out from his lair. His list for today included cleaning his room and working on his science project. The room cleaning part of his list went as normal. There was lots of huffing, lots of procrastinating, and way too many things getting crammed into the closet and the hamper. But, he managed to finish and then we started the process of figuring out how to actually DO the science project that he'd dreamed up.
He wanted to test the bacteria levels in tea from different restaurants. Ok. That's a great idea. But, how in the world do you do that? Thanks to Google and You Tube, we found out that you have to use something called agar in a petri dish to grow the bacteria. Yeah. Let me just run to the cabinet and pull out some agar from my stock pile. Huh? Where do you even buy this stuff? Once again, back to Google we went. As usual, we've cut the time limits pretty close on this project so we didn't have time to order anything (let me clarify - I didn't want to PAY to have something express mailed). I started calling lots of really weird and shady places asking if they stocked agar. I even called the pediatrician's office. (They got quite a laugh out of that). On a last ditch effort, I called the school supply store about ten minutes down the road and they had one vial left of the stuff. Geez. So, we loaded up and went to get this weirdness - plus petri dishes.
It's a powdery mess that you have to mix with distilled water, boil it, let it cool, and then pour it into the petri dishes to solidify. Yeah. Once again, why couldn't my child just want to test how much liquid different brands of diapers hold?
And then, there was Dasha's report. I saw the instruction sheet last night and it is due tomorrow. Yeah, me! The topic of this report... Day of the Dead. It's an official holiday for some cultures. Believe me. I had to Google that too! For this report, you were supposed to pick a dead relative, pet, or other person and basically create a shrine for them. Now, you have to understand that my "Are You Kidding Me?" filter kicked in the minute I saw the information sheet. When I asked Dasha about it, she said, "I'll just do a box about Ansley." Oh boy. Grant went nuts. Grant is very guarded about his memories of Ansley and doesn't like Dasha to even talk about her. (Add this to the therapy list, yeah, yeah, yeah). So, who else could we do? She named off two other people that she's known of that have died and neither was a good fit for this project. (I tried to convince her to do it on Grant's guinea pig that kicked the bucket last year but she wanted to do it about a PERSON). Geez. Once again, I did a Google search for "dead famous people." Really. That's what I typed. My choices were either Michael Jackson or Steve Jobs. I persuaded Dasha to go with Mr. Jobs.
We Googled more about Jobs to complete the report. (Yeah, there was a written report, too. See? The guinea pig report would have been much easier and no one would have known if it was true or not - like the part about me putting the dead creature in a Rubbermaid box and putting it in the big freezer because the ground was too hard for me to dig a hole in)! Although, I guess I'll have to admit that Steve Jobs was a very different person. Dasha immediately zeroed in on the fact that he was adopted and didn't go to college. Oh well. Never mind the stuff about Apple and Pixar.
So, the project is now complete and ready for school. I wonder what other parents thought about this project? Couldn't they have simply said something like, do research on a deceased person and create a collage or media product to show their life? Nope. Much more creepy to do it this way.
So, in one day, I made play dough, created a warm cozy environment to grow tea bacteria, and created a shrine to Steve Jobs. And you people think I make this mess up! I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet.
About 9:00, I was sitting at the desk working on school papers when I heard a dripping sound. I thought it was the cat doing something weird. (I didn't even bother to go check). But, suddenly the dripping turned into more of a pouring sound. I walked out of the office and into the kitchen to see a waterfall coming out of the air vent in the ceiling. There was a puddle on the floor that spanned most of the kitchen. My first thought was, "At least this isn't poo water like last week AND it's on the tile and not the wood floor." My second thought was a bit less positive. It was something like, "Oh, crap. The ceiling is going to fall in and then what am I going to do?"
My adreline kicked in and I started yelling for the big kids to bring me towels and garbage cans like I was some rock star surgeon in the ER. They are lucky I wasn't saying things like, "Stat! Stand back! I'm not gonna lose this one!" Anyway, we dried up the small lake and stood back and just watched the waterfall. At one point, Dasha looked at me with her face squished up and said, "What is going on?" I couldn't help myself at that point. I looked her back without a smile and said, "Well, maybe you should find an umbrella because we have ourselves a kitchen storm and it looks like it might just go on all night long!" She didn't laugh. I think part of her thought I was serious. She proceeded to go look out the window and tell me that it wasn't raining outside. Ugh.
I called my dad. He analyzed the situation. By the time he left, we'd come to no conclusions. The water was coming from the general vicinity of my bathroom. There's still no conclusion at this hour (2 hours later). However, the rain has stopped now and I'm just left with a floor full of wet towels and a garbage can full of water. Who knows when the rain will start again. Eric reminded me that we do have home owner's insurance for things like this. Oh, yeah. I kind of forgot about that. I'm terrified to know what the deductible is, though. Oh well. The joys of home ownership.
So, this is the sort of fun we have at the Randolph Mental Facility on a day "off." Jello dough, growing bacteria, honoring dead people, and having inside rain showers. In what other house could you do all of that in one day? No where that I know of unless you're wearing a straight jacket! And, heck, I don't even enforce that our guests wear straight jackets! Half of the time, someone is running around naked (not me).
This is where I find myself at 10:55 on Tuesday night. I'm really trying to stay focused and see this new turn of events as merely a distraction from the journey I'm on. But, I'm telling you, this distraction is like one of those darn gnats at the beach that you just want to zap.
Good night, all.
2 comments:
So, I'm curious to know which tea had the most bacteria in it? Do I want to know? lol
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