6:00 - 7:00 a.m. - Delivery of children
7:00 - 2:00 p.m. - Teaching of students
2:00 p.m. - Threat on my life with a sharpened pencil which was lodged into my butt. This is the one day when I was thankful for some meat on my butt and for tough Old Navy jeans that dulled the point before it did too much damage.
3:30 p.m. - Pick up my own crumb snatchers from various locations and head home.
4:30 p.m. - Lay my head down for a nanosecond. This is the cue for Annie to call, "I pooped! I'm done!" The translation is, "Come wipe me!"
5:30 p.m. - While I got laundry started, Annie decided to open a box of my checks and use them as a pad of paper. Nice. After trying to salvage at least one book of checks, I made the mistake of checking my email only to realize that somehow I paid the mortgage twice. Not good. Not good. Not good.
6:30 p.m. - Annie decides she wants to go to the grocery store with me and makes a "list." She tells me that "gymnastic Dora" is on the list and I still find the whole scenario sort of cute. The big kids decide to go too so I'm now forced to drag all three kids to the store. Annie decided that we had to use her list to shop with and that it was not an option to leave with just groceries. Gymnastic Dora was a serious item on her list and the trip would be incomplete without this purchase. Did I mention that this cute little doll was $40? Dora did NOT go home with us - just a very angry toddler with a wadded up list.
7:30 p.m. - Kids still haven't eaten dinner. I'm feeling a melt-down coming on myself so I do the unthinkable and drive through McDonalds. Yes, the kids looked at me with concern in their eyes and all got quiet.
7:45 p.m. - Grant puts the icing on the cake. My once sweet and studious child has turned into... I just don't know. The boy has dealt me some major whammies this week and tonight was the pinnacle. I have worked so hard over the last year to guard my heart and make choices which are full of integrity and protect what's left of my sanity. Tonight, I blew it big time. A few careless words from Grant and I dropped an f bomb. I've absolutely never said that word in my life. That's not even a word that rattles through my noggin in the heat of the moment. My mouth still feels dirty despite gulping down untold quantities of Listerine. Why is it that the ones we love the most have the most power to bring us to our knees?
8:15 p.m. - Girls are bathed and we play nail salon and paint our nails orange and then draw on jack-o-lantern faces. (Grant has barricaded himself into his room and declared that he does NOT want his nails painted orange)!
9:15 p.m. - Time to Nair Dasha's legs. She assumes the position sitting on the edge of the tub and I smear the smelly goop on and leave her to simmer and brew. Annie had been reading in her room but came screaming into the bathroom saying her bottom hurt. I went to investigate the issue and forgot that my hands had just been in the Nair mixture. Not good. Not good. Not good. (See? Even at this point, I wasn't thinking the f word)! Annie's screaming now sounded like a jet screaming across the sky at mach 2! I tossed her into the shower and hosed off the problematic area. Meanwhile, Dasha had simmered way too long and she hinted at the fact that her legs were burning. I thew her into the shower, too, and rinsed her off. And, in case you weren't mortified enough, I bought a little Reese's pumpkin at WalMart for my enjoyment and decided to eat it after the whole circus act had been completed. As I licked the chocolate from my fingers... yeah... it sort of dawned on my that my fingers probably weren't the most sanitary utensils in the house. Gross.
10:00 p.m. - Everyone is finally in their assigned bed and quiet. Annie is actually still reading to herself and I'm not sure what Grant is doing since he's not speaking to me - again.
Last week, I had an interesting conversation with some of my teammates. They were questioning the actions of a single mom. I realized that I was defending the mom. There's a sense of desperation that runs through me on nights like tonight and I realize that I could make some really bad choices based on my feelings. However, I have the luxury of being surrounded by friends and family that would smack me into next week if I started acting foolish. I also have the privilege of knowing who holds my next breath, my next tear, and my next bushel of grace which I'll need to cover up my continued stupidity.
For tonight, I'm throwing in the towel. Tomorrow, we're headed to the country to the pumpkin farm and the petting zoo. If the kids misbehave, I might exchange them for a couple of turkeys. (Ok, yeah, I was actually thinking of a horse-type animal that rhymes with bass but I was trying to get myself together and keep to the high road).
Good night, all.
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