Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

I've written three different blog entries over the last week but ended up deleting them all. For some reason, words just aren't appropriate to even begin to wrap around this current "season" in my life. As I continue in this holding pattern, I'm waiting. Waiting for answers. Waiting for the right timing. Waiting for the next monster to pop out of door number three! This must have been what the Disciples felt like as Jesus slept through the raging storm and then simply commanded the seas to calm (Mark 4:35-40). I have to remember that my Father could simply bring this seeming chaos to a complete halt with one word if He thought that best. Obviously, I'm going to keep clinging to the ship (as long as He is still inside) and ride out the waves. Hopefully, I can wrap more words around this crazy life of mine in the near future. But, for now, just know that the Randolph family is being tossed around in the sea and waiting for the storm to calm. (As I close, I keep thinking I hear the words from the Gilligan's Island theme song somewhere in the background... "The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, the Minnow would be lost. So, this is a tale of our castaways, they're here for a long long time. They'll have to make the best of things, it's an uphill climb!"

Aim for the Crumple Zones

Over 20 years ago, my dad bought me my first car. I've honestly forgotten the model of the car other than it was an Oldsmobile. We called it the Brown Bomber. It was bigger than a Sherman tank and had once been a diesel but my dad thought it was best to convert it to a rolling bomb shelter that sucked gas. (On a very inappropriate note, we also called it the Rolling Terd due to the very unique brown color that the car was painted). All of the guys thought the car was awesome due to it's power and speed. All of the girls just saw it as a mode of transportation that wasn't a school bus and allowed us some extra freedom.

I drove the Brown Bomber for several years. It saw me through high school and my first few years of college. At one point, though, I put the Bomber's strength to the test. On my way to work one morning, I hit a patch of ice on a side road and did several 360s before hitting a telephone pole and winding up in a ditch. I wasn't hurt at all and the only scratch the Bomber sustained was the rear bumper. I'll never forget flagging down a Georgia Power truck traveling down that road to ask for help. They had a wench on the front of their truck and were able to pull me out and I was able to drive back home. When dad finally got home to see the damage I'd done to his beautiful car, he was amazed that the car had sustained minimal injuries. However, after he examined the underneath side of the bumper, he was shocked. He explained that there are crumple zones under the bumper that are designed to take impact and collapse and spare the cabin of the vehicle from some of the force. He'd never seen anyone collapse all of the zones. Although the rest of the car (and even the bumper) looked fine, upon closer inspection, he knew that the rear bumper supports would have to be replaced in order to keep me safe in the event I tried to go ice skating in the Bomber again.

Throughout the process of getting the car fixed, I learned that all cars have several different crumple zones. Cars are designed to be crashed and keep the occupants safe. Crumple zones are like armies that stand ready to protect you from any intruder. However, there are spots in the car which don't have excessive crumple zones and I was told that if I ever got myself into a situation where I knew I was about to be hit by another car, I should try to position my car to receive the direct impact in a known crumple zone. (Yeah, this is kind of like your mom asking if you have on clean underwear just in case you get into an accident. I don't think my immediate response to a car traveling directly at me is going to be, "Hmmm... let me pull around to the left a little so this oncoming bullet car can strike me right on the front tire). Bottom line, cars are meant to take impacts and protect their occupants.

Over the last several years, I feel like I've developed my own personal crumple zones. I've learned to deal with the difficulties of raising a special needs child and instead of letting those difficulties take a direct hit on my heart, I make sure everything is directed at a crumple zone. When something goes wrong at work, I know to take the direct hit in a crumple zone and then move on. When dealing with being a single mom while Eric is in Texas, I've learned to let the frustrations and hurts hit the crumple zones so I can take the least amount of impact possible. I've really gotten very good at making sure to take the majority of the blows in life in a crumple zone. This way, my heart is protected and my "normal" life can continue.

However, there are some accidents that you don't see coming and you just can't reposition yourself quick enough to let your crumple zone take the impact. September 22 was one of those days. It was the day before my birthday. My parents had given me a gift certificate to a jewelry store that carries my favorite line of pendants (old fashioned keys). Although Eric was home, he was trying desperately to get some work done so I'd taken the kids to mom and dad's house to stay for a few minutes so I could go pick up my new pendant from the jewelry store. When I left, dad was in the backyard swinging Annie. Grant was with them. Mom and Dasha were in the house. I ran across the street to the jewelry store and picked up my pendant. The job went so quickly that I decided to walk into the Bath and Body Work store next door and look around. My phone rang about the time I started looking at the new fall soaps. Grant was on the other end and simply asked where I was and said that Papa wasn't feeling too good and that I didn't need to stay gone too long. I hung the phone up and started to wrap up my outing when my phone rang again. This time, Grant sounded panicked and asked me to come back immediately. Grant never panics. (This is the same child that turned off Ansley's alarms when she passed away as if there wasn't anything wrong and then proceeded to go about his normal business). Needless to say, I ran out of the store and forced the poor van to go much faster than it's used to. I was back to the house within 3 or 4 minutes. When I walked into the door, I'd already prepared myself for what I'd see based on Grant's description. He had told me that dad couldn't move his left arm or hand and his face was droopy and he couldn't talk good. Grant had been with dad when dad suddenly realized something was wrong and tried to get Annie out of the swing but couldn't use his left hand and then couldn't speak clearly to tell Grant what he needed. Grant went on to tell me that he remembered reading about symptoms like that in his Boy Scout manual and he thought he needed to dial 911. Drama and details aside, when I reached the living room, dad was sitting in his recliner crying (I've never see him really cry before) and mom was sitting at his feet asking if he wanted her to call 911. At this point, I really don't remember too much other than calling 911 and Grant taking both girls upstairs and sequestering them until the paramedics left. (He'd also called my sister in Tampa and when he couldn't reach her, he called her husband and told him to let her know that she needed to come home).

These are the kind of days that crumple zones don't protect you from. I still can't spend too much energy thinking about the next hours and days that followed. There is absolutely nothing in this world that can protect you from watching someone who you've always seen as invincible become helpless. Images from those first few hours will forever be burned into my memory.

Dad was in the emergency room within 45 minutes of the first symptoms of his stroke. The trauma staff administered a clot busting drug called TPA that can only be given to victims within a very small window of time after the onset of a stroke. Then, Dad was admitted to the Neuro ICU area. After spending two days in the unit, they moved him to the rehabilitation area. He spent less than 24 hours there. The nurses realized quickly that their best bet was to let him go home before he started enlisting the other patients for an uprising. (He'd told the ICU nurses on Thursday afternoon that he WOULD be home for the Florida football game on Saturday). And, sure enough, they dismissed him around lunch time on Saturday so he could get home to his own recliner and big screen TV to watch the game.

Although Dad is still weak, his speak is understandable and his left arm and hand are quickly gaining strength. He is on the path to a full recovery. He's doing some occupational therapy to help him with his hand strength and he's doing some speech therapy to help strengthen the muscles around his mouth that now are a bit droopy and cause his speech to slightly slur.

The impact that Dad's stroke had on me completely missed every crumple zone I've developed and really shook me to my core. While I think many girls see their dads as invincible super heroes, I've learned to slow down and be thankful that my Dad is still here to tell Grant inappropriate jokes and be part of his Scout activities. He can still swing Annie and eat all of the pretend weird creations she cooks for him. And, he can still be the voice of reason for Dasha. There are some moments when Dad is the only person who can get past her crumple zones and go in for a direct hit!

Some days, I feel a bit guilty being able to remove myself emotionally from many situations which would send others into turmoil. In fact, this drives my husband nuts! Routinely, he tells me that I don't excited over things! I just make sure all of the arrows that life throws at me are direct hits in my crumple zones. Other times, I see my ability to remove myself as quite a gift. While others are getting their panties into knots over silly things, I can keep myself focused and continue on with my duties. (OK - if I'm wearing the old Hanes Her Way stuff, yeah, they do get into knots sometimes).

Bottom line, I've learned several things over the last couple of weeks. First, Grant is an amazing child. While having the innocence of a 10 year old, he can bear the burdens that many adults can't handle. Many times, I worry that he has too much responsibility with Dasha and Annie in the house. However, after watching him handle the situation with Dad, I know that the Path that has been set aside for Grant is filled with wonderful things that we are lucky enough to help prepare him for. Second, although I know Dad technically isn't a Super Hero, I will address him as such from now on so that he knows how much he's loved. Finally, I've seen several posters that tout, "Everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten." I think I'm going to print my own poster of the Brown Bomber and then find an engineer from Oldsmobile to highlight the crumple zones. I'll title the poster, "Aim for the crumple zones!" (As a side note, Eric's dad drove the Brown Bomber until just a few years ago when he had to stop driving. If he was still on the road, I'd be willing to bet that he'd be piloting the Rolling Terd)!

Privacy? Definition, please!

I don't think there has ever been a mom that hasn't had one of those moments when all they dream about is going to the bathroom unaccompanied. No little fingers poking under the door. No little voices asking, "What 'cha doing?" No children screaming at each other the moment you close the door. (Yeah, let's get real. There aren't any closed doors)! No sounds of things crashing (which usually results in a less than pretty sight of mom streaking from the bathroom to find out who's dead). And definitely no toddlers trying to "help" you! For those of you who don't have kids, believe me, I know this sounds ridiculous but there are some days, when a visit to the potty alone would be a dream come true!

Today is one of those days in my world. All I wanted was a simple visit to the bathroom for less than two minutes without someone helping with the toilet paper or ransacking the cabinets and pulling out all sorts of unmentionables. (No, Annie, they are NOT stickers! No, Annie. Stop, Annie. Don't stick that there, Annie)! So, I decided to go against every grain of common sense I have and decided to use the baby gate to "lock" Annie and Dasha in Dasha's room so I could have my own dreamy visit to the bathroom ALONE!

As I entered the bathroom, it was quiet and dark and I could hear the girls talking over the monitor. Dasha was folding clothes and telling Annie what each article was. "Shirt, socks, bra, panties, pants..." If you know Dasha, you'll know that she doesn't see any problem in teaching Annie the proper terms for each piece of clothing despite the fact that Annie may yell out the term at the most inopportune time. ("Mama, mama, mama! Look! Bra!") I can hear her saying that now in the middle of the church sanctuary! And, just let me say, if you are laughing at this plausible happening, you've never met Annie! Anyway, the banter between the girls continued and I began to relax and think I'd stumbled onto a great new way to buy myself a couple of minutes of peace and quiet. In fact, when I'd finished in the bathroom, I actually decided to wipe the mirror and counter off! I was feeling like a complete rock star! A bathroom to myself. Girls playing nicely together. But, I came back to reality and decided to go retrieve Annie before my ingenious plan went sour and caused me to have another round of why-did-I-think-that-was-a-good-idea-itis!

When I rounded the corner into Dasha's room, Annie was wearing Dasha's bra, panties, and socks. I didn't have my camera handy as the scene unfolded but you can see from the picture that Annie was none too happy about having to give up her newly acquired garments! (She was still wearing Dasha's socks, though, and went to bed with them on)!

There are two morals to this story. 1 - If you leave Dasha "in charge," be ready for anything! 2- Forget having any private potty time until your children leave home!

4E8D9B8A-3449-7590-1F2D-2271B9923D13

1.02.28

Puzzle pieces and wise choices

If you know me very well, you know that I love to put things together. I love the thought of systematically taking lots of seemingly random pieces and making them into one big work of art. From furniture to puzzles, I love the challenge of turning all of those gazillion parts into something useful. Ok, I know puzzles aren't very useful but you get the picture.

I'm beginning to realize that my kids are each like a box full of pieces that have to be carefully assembled to reach the finished product. However, sometimes, it's like I'm assembling a one thousand piece puzzle and I never bother to look at the picture on the box to see what the finished product should look like! I just keep randomly jamming pieces together and if they fit, great, if not, I throw that piece back into the pile and try another one without a good plan of action! For anyone who has ever assembled a real puzzle before, you know that you always start with the edges first. Once you have the outline done, then you choose one area at a time to work on until you get to the finished product. Sometimes a puzzle takes a few minutes, some a few hours, and honestly, some, I never finish but I always have a plan of where to start and what to do next.

I'm finding out that each of my kids is like a different puzzle. Each child's "box" has a very different picture of what the finished product should look like. I have to admit that many times, for the sake of sanity, I try to use the same picture for all three kids and those are the days when I end up wanting to close my head in the freezer and take a Mulligan!

The other very trying part of this whole puzzle is that sometimes the picture on the outside of the box changes. Right now, Annie's box shows that the finished product is a obedient toddler with some semblance of manners. (Without my glasses on, I swear that picture looks more like one of the monsters from Monsters Inc., though)! Grant's box shows a pre-teen who understands the "whys" behind his choices as a child of God and functions as "salt of the Earth" in the real world despite what his peers choose. Then, there's Dasha's box. Sometimes, I think Dasha's box holds one of those 3-D puzzles that I've never been able to put together completely! Or even closer to the truth, one of those double sided puzzles where each piece has two sides and you have to figure out which side corresponds to the picture you're working on! Nonetheless, each child has a different box and has to be assembled quite differently.

When you first find out that you're pregnant, you start buying books that tell you about all of the "puzzle pieces" that you're going to have to deal with. (Although, I never saw too many chapters on how to get Rice Krispies from the buckle of a car seat or Hot Wheels cars out of the toilet). After reading tons of parenting books before Grant was born about these "pieces", I just assumed that the information in those books could be trickled down over all of the other siblings who would enter the house. Ha! The books such as Baby Wise that I read and used to guide Grant's early years have simply made great bookends as Annie has made her way through the house! There is only one book that seems to cover every one of the puzzles that we've been given as gifts - the Bible.

Within that great book which shows the best way to fit all of the pieces together, the verse that continually comes to mind is Proverbs 13:20. He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. I have to be wise. That's so darn hard sometimes! However, I can tell you from experience, that kids act like their parents! I think the most common phrases uttered in the halls of schools are, "That apple didn't fall far from the tree," and in extreme cases, "That gene pool needs some Clorox!" Your children are a direct reflection of you - like it or not! The best barometer of my actions is the actions of my own kids! That's scary business! I hate to admit it but I have a real potty mouth when the going gets tough. I make a conscious effort in times of trial such as slamming my hand in the van's sliding door or dumping my coveted Coke Zero in the perfect Chick-fil-A cup into the floor board of the van to NOT let those words slither from my mouth. However, I admit that sometimes, I fail! When Dasha accidentally threw the Wii remote into the fireplace a few months ago and uttered a choice word, Grant quickly told her that she couldn't say that word. She quickly reminded him that Mom says that word. (The whole time, I was standing in the kitchen listening the my stomach churn at the conversation)! At that point, dear Grant simply said, "Well, she made a mistake but you're still not supposed to say it!" I felt like I was about three inches tall! However, Dasha was simply doing what Mom did. I had NOT been wise in controlling my tongue and she had followed suit!

What do puzzle boxes and potty mouths have to do with each other? I have to daily seek out what the picture on each child's puzzle box looks like and I have to set the example in order for my kids' pieces to finally match the finished product on the box! I have a LONG way to go in my pursuit of being "wise" in order to lead my children. It is a daily battle. However, if I continue being a fool, guess what my kids will be? There are already too many fools running around this planet! I need to work hard to seek and discover what the finished puzzle for each of my kids should look like and be a wise role model for them! Geez! It sounds so easy, doesn't it! Well, I'll see how easy it is the next time Dasha leaves a Polly Pocket in the floor and I step on it in the middle of the night only to trip and smash my toe against on of Grant's Lego creations!

Deuteronomy 6:6-8 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Note to self - this verse does NOT give permission to tie the children up in the name of learning to walk with God! Nor does it give permission to reenact that bank commercial where they staple bar codes to the customers' heads and staple commandments to the children's little noggins!

(You forget - it's summer vacation and I'm trapped ALONE with all 3 children. I have to remind myself of even the smallest things)!

The Journey: A personal jounal entry

Last weekend, I had to drop Eric off at the airport. As we passed through downtown Atlanta, we saw that the traffic heading north bound was nearly stopped. Eric gave me some tips on how to get back to Woodstock and miss the traffic and I thought I'd remembered his directions. However, on my way back home, I realized I'd missed a turn somewhere. I pulled out my faithful GPS, plugged it in, and waited for that sexy Australian voice to say, "Pull a u-ey and let's head in the other direction!" I even programmed the magic box to avoid the 75/85 area. Ha. After making the same loop three times, I realized that two things had happened. One, the box couldn't figure out how to get me around the 75/85 area and two, all of the road construction in the area was wreaking havoc with the satellite. Dasha continued to roar with laughter from the back seat as my GPS "mate" kept yelling, "Please return to a paved road as soon as possible!" At one point, children's voices actually came from the box in sing-song style saying, "Look around!" (I'm not kidding! This was almost my undoing coupled with Annie screaming with hunger pains)! Bottom line, my GPS wasn't getting me the answers I needed in a timely manner. It's really hard to blindly follow a silly computerized box's directions when they go against your own common sense. However, on the fourth lap, I finally followed the box's directions and found myself headed toward the Atlantic Station area. I knew if I could find that yellow and blue building which calls to me through the night (IKEA), I'd be able to navigate home. Sure enough, I reprogrammed the GPS for IKEA and magically made it across 75/85 and away from the traffic. We won't begin to tally the time it took to do laps around Peachtree vs. the time I would have actually spent sitting in traffic. However, I did manage to get to IKEA, pull the girls out of the van, feed them, bathroom them, and, of course, do a bit of impromptu shopping.

What's my point? No, my point is not to remind everyone how bad I am with directions. My point is that we all have some type of map guiding us. Last weekend, I'd chosen to use my Tom-Tom friend as my map. Others chose to use an old-fashioned paper map with coffee stains which look like exit ramps. But, beyond navigating through Atlanta or any other city, we all have some sort of map that guides us through life. Sometimes, we may think those maps are invalid, out dated, or plain old ridiculous. However, most of those maps have stood the test of time and if followed with persistence and patience, you'll get where you want to go.

Ok, ok, I know I'm rambling. Without hesitation, I can tell you that the Bible is my map for this journey through life which seems to be filled with traffic jams, detours, and sometimes road closures. Lately, I've questioned my "map" more than once. I know some people would find it almost sacrilegious to acknowledge that I've questioned my very foundations over the last few months due to multiple road closures, speed bumps, and detours! However, I think it's only human to question. We all have free will and make our own choices. Hopefully, those choices are based on a plan you've made using your "map" to get to your final destination. But, when things don't go like we think they're supposed to, we begin to question and try to reprogram (or shout ugly things) at the map. That's just not how it works. We're lucky enough to have a map that has withstood thousands of years of road blocks and other construction woes. (Can you imagine the things Tom-Tom would have shouted at Noah as the flood washed out roads)? In a book by Andy Stanley, he says over and over again, "Direction, not your intention determines your destination." Just like Saturday morning, I intended to get around 75/85 but didn't plan out good directions. My intent was there but I didn't have clear direction to get to my destination - home.

As most of you know, Eric is making plans to move back to Atlanta. This is bitter-sweet. As I thought about the move initially, I thought more about intent and not direction and destination. However, he was thinking about direction and destination. Now, we're left with a sticky situation where communication is equivalent to the sound of the cable channel after it's gone off the air at midnight. We're going to have to work hard to look at the map and get our directions straight and make sure we both have the same intent. Over the last six months, I've learned that I communicate about as clearly as Tom-Tom does. I shout orders and assume that everyone around me is following them. I don't give reasons about avoiding certain areas or provide any real communication. When things go bad, I simply resort to screaming, "You are not on a paved road! Please get back on the paved road as soon as possible!" However, it's not just directions through Atlanta that are getting garbled. It's people's lives! Here's my heart's desire right now, to let my map guide me and keep my communication lines clear and open. So, if my next post reads, "Whoa, matey. Please pull to the right and wait for the emergency vehicles to assist you," you know I've blown it! However, my destination is clear - to have a renewed relationship with clear communication and I have a very good map to lead me! I just have to keep in mind that no matter how well intended I am, I need to have a good plan and stick to it in order to put all of the pieces back together again!

And while we're on the subject, stopping to ask for directions is never a bad idea, either! There are too many others who have walked the journey ahead of us and know which turns to take and which ones to avoid!

Grant the Gentle Giant

Grant. I don't even know where to begin! Since the day this boy was born, he has been an old soul. Grant keeps me sane and laughing all at the same time. It it so much fun to watch as his personality blooms more and more and he becomes a young man.

Grant has been through so much in his 10 years of life. He can tell you sad memories like turning off Ansley's alarms as she passed away when he was three. He can tell you about learning to live with Dasha and all of her antics. He can tell you plenty of stories about living with me and Eric! (Those are the really juicy ones). And above this, will remind you to pray over your meal and be thankful for what you have.

Since Eric has been in Texas, Grant has taken on the role of Man of the House! He takes this job very seriously. More than once, he has informed me that he was going to call Daddy and tattle on something that I did (like turning on the air conditioning too early or buying paint to paint the bathroom or leaving lights on). But beyond that, he watches Annie for me to have a cat nap in the afternoons or get dinner done. On a few occasions, he's even cooked dinner. He can do laundry better than me, load and unload the dishwasher in less than 15 minutes, and even mow the grass. But beyond all of the menial chores that he's learned to do, he still has his own signature sense of humor.

My inspiration for this post came last night as I was trying to add some new music to my iPod. He kept complaining about my boring music and I told him I'd add some more spicy tunes. I ran across the song "I'm too Sexy" and he started rolling in the floor laughing! (OK - most 10 year olds don't know the word s-e-x-y but poor Grant has been exposed to... well... have you met his father? - no more explanation necessary)! Anyway, as he started strutting around in his undies, he was singing, "I'm too sexy for my undies..." I couldn't help but laugh. I know it's one of those moments that many parenting books probably have chapters about not encouraging language such as that or even running around in undies but - heck - I gave up on those parenting books. I'm convinced that the people who write them don't have REAL kids. I think I'm going to try writing a parenting book one of these days. Anyway, Grant just knows how to have fun.

After the song fest was over, I sent him on to bed. However, when I got upstairs, he was crying about today's CRCT math section. Although he made an almost perfect score in math the last couple of years, he was concerned that he'd do poorly. The gentle giant who was just screeching, "I'm too sexy..." was now back to Mr. Responsible and worrying about his grades. At that point, I called him into my room and he cuddled up with his blankets (yes, he still has 2 blankets and a stuffed dog) and fell asleep. It was as I watched him sleep (ok - snoring like an 80 year old man with a breathing disorder) that I realized just what a treasure he is.

He can carry Annie around and love on her with the utmost care and help lead Dasha through stores and up stairs and then crash just like he did when he was five. I'm not sure that I like him growing up but he is truly becoming a young man. He knows who he is and what he believes in. He has a vicious understanding of being fair and just but still loves to be silly. I just feel so blessed to have him.

I know that my thoughts are rambling and I guess I wrote this post more for myself than anyone else. I just love that boy! Some woman is going to get very lucky one day! He's going to make an incredible husband and father. And, I already have him trained how to pee IN the toilet and put the lid down, do laundry, change diapers, and finish the dishes. Love you Grant!

Oh, by the way, as he left my class room this morning to head to the 4th grade hallway, he stopped and struck a pose and proclaimed, "I'm too sexy for my mom" and swaggered off down the hall. I was laughing on the outside but there was a little piece of me that wanted to cry when I realized how grown up he's becoming.

As for the parenting book, my first chapter would be, "Be a parent, not a friend" and the second chapter would be, "Have fun!" Maybe I really will write a book one day and tell other parents how to screw up their kids! That would be such fun! If all of the other kids were screwed up, would that make my kids normal? Hmmmm...

Remembering...

I can hardly believe that tomorrow will mark seven years since Ansley was called Home. Oh how time changes things! Every year I look back and still find myself in awe of all of the people and talents that were orchestrated to pull our family through!

With Grant (the first child) I was always so preoccupied with doing things just like the book said to do them! I was terrified of ruining him! (Go ahead and comment, even with the books, he still has his moments)! Then Ansley came along and there weren't any books available about how to deal with her! She was a complete diva! Then, there was Dasha. We all know that no author has undertaken writing a book about how to raise her! If someone did write one, they'd have to file it under "fiction" because it wouldn't be true! So, I really haven't had the opportunity to just have fun with any of my kids during those early years - until Annie. I don't think I've even read a book about what to do or not to do with Annie. I may regret that in a few years but for now, we're just enjoying her and having fun. That being said, having all of this fun with Annie makes me really miss Ansley more than ever! What fun it would have been to have two little girls running around squealing and demanding that the world revolve around them! I know Grant would really beg to differ but underneath all of his remorse about dealing with a house full of women, he loves being the "Man of the House!"

Seven years ago, if you'd told me what my life would look like in the next few years, I probably would have laughed at you hysterically! Adopting a special needs child from Russia and having another baby wouldn't have been anywhere on MY list. I certainly would have never thought that two superstar actors would have made a movie about Ansley's rare disease, either! However, we all know that God, in His wisdom, orchestrates quite a symphony of events which hopefully all go together to make a beautiful noise! Right now, I'd have to say that we're still in the "tuning" stage and we've got quite a bit of squeaking and squawking going on but we're on the track to at least getting the notes right!

Who knows where we'll be in the next few years. As always, we'll be waiting patiently to see what's next! But for now, we'll remember Ansley Jaye for the red-headed diva and charmer that she was!

Life's Guilt-Free Pleasures...

Yeah, she learned to walk. Yeah, she has mastered climbing anything that looks perilous. Yeah, she can even use a few words to command the whole house! But absolutely nothing compared to her delight at watching the snow fall! She only got to spend a few minutes out in the white stuff but she spent quite a bit of time banging on the back door as the dogs and kids all played! As she was expressing her excitement over something as simply as a few snowflakes, I wondered, "Why can't I let go of all of the STUFF and just show the same excitement over the little things in life?" Hmmm...

Here's a list of things that I've decided to "let go of" over the last few days.

1) I will color with my children happily at the table even though the coloring book is stuck to the table in the remains of someone's spilled oatmeal from breakfast.
2) I will build forts with the couch cushions without worrying about Annie eating all of the unidentified crumbs which were underneath!
3) I will build snowmen in the backyard and not worry about why parts of the snow are yellow and who shoveled the dog poo last.
4) I will kick the ball down the aisle in Target and watch all three kids scream and laugh hysterically. If I have to buy the ball (or half of the store due to my crappy kicking skills), I will. Their laughter is priceless - especially when we're in public and others can see our insanity!
5) And finally, I won't worry that my email and voice mail boxes are full. I am spending guilt free time playing with my kids! (If you've called and I haven't returned your call, I'm probably hiding underneath the fort eating Cheerios and Cheetos from last year while peeking out to see if the kids have found me yet)!

Everyone ought to try having a guilt-free fun day without worrying about lesson plans to be made, clothes to be washed, or children to clean up after. It is very freeing! Who says family therapy needs to be pricey? A few couch cushions, crayons, and a wayward ball down the aisle of Target cure many ails!

Oh how the years go by...

Where to begin seems to always be my biggest dilemma! For those of you who have known us more than a day or two, you've surely heard the name Jason (aka Jay) come up. Eric and Jason met at the Woodlawn Chick-fil-A in their early college days. They ended up sharing the same bachelor pad, in fact. To this day, I'm convinced that Eric has an incredible immune system due to his years in that shoe box which unofficially housed between three and thirty young men (and a ferret at some point named Ringo)! That's a whole different story, though! My point is that Eric and Jason are like brothers. They've shared rooms (probably beds and other things I don't want to know about) and been through quite a bit together. I'm rambling.... Right after we got married, Jason moved back to TX to be closer to his parents and finish his degree. While he was there, he picked up another job at Chick-fil-A. While there, he met a young girl named Emily. After a few months, they got engaged and married on the day after Valentine's Day in 2003. It was during this time that Ansley got seriously ill. In fact, Jason and Emily came straight to GA after getting off the plane from their honeymoon in Hawaii in order to be with us. I'd never met Emily but the minute she stepped into that PICU at Egleston, I knew she was perfect for Jason. She was very soft spoken but also seemed to be able to inspire greatness from those around her. She had such a love for Ansley, as well. She'd never met her before but she immediately took on the job of protector. After being dismissed to take Ansley home with hospice, Jay and Em stayed with us. Em spent hours rocking Ansley. This was such a wonderful break for me. Emily sang to her, cooed to her, and loved on her during those last hours and moments of her little life. In fact, Emily was the last person to hold Ansley before she slipped away. Emily and Jason were with us at the moment it happened. They quickly stepped in and became Grant's keepers and made sure that he had everything he could possibly need. I still laugh about the antics of them trying to find Grant dress clothes for the funeral at Gap Kids! It was impossible to find pants for Grant when he was that age but they managed and did so with a smile! In the end, Jay and Em were there for us, like family. In fact, Ansley's middle name was actually Jaye - for Jason. (I did have to put my foot down about having a daughter with a middle name of Jason)!

I feel like I'm writing some kind of detailed novel but that is not my point. I want everyone to see how God's devine hand leads us even in the dark times. I saw something written once that said, "God hasn't made the storm stop because He wants me to learn to dance in the rain." That's what this story is. It's one big storm where everyone had to learn to dance! Emily's storm was different than our storm with Ansley, though. Emily had Cystic Fibrosis. She waged a long and tough battle. The nurses saw her coming and ran for cover! They knew she would fight to get better! Through many other divine interventions which ultimately led Jason and Emily to AL where UAB has an awesome lung transplant team, they also had beautiful daughter named Faith. Emily did receive a double lung transplant and enjoyed renewed health for a short period. She and Jason moved back to TX where their families are.

Jason's brother, Brandon, actually runs one of the Chick-fil-As in Lubbock. This is the store Eric is stationed at. So, Jason, Brandon, and Eric all work together again just like those early days at Woodlawn Square! Eric is actually living with Jason right now, too. I think they're a little more mature now and don't allow critters such as ferrets to live in the silverware drawer - no, I'm not kidding!

However, on Tuesday, Emily lost her battle with CF. She'd been flown back to UAB to check out some lingering problems and slipped off to go Home while she was sedated. Jason was there with her.

As most of you know, I don't do emotions well. However, Emily's death just makes me remember how raw my heart was after Ansley's death. I've read Randy's Alcorn's book where he talks about what heaven will be like and I know what the Bible says, but in my own mind, its so comforting to me to picture Emily bursting through the gates of Heaven and looking around to find Ansley and rocking her to sleep for me as she did before.

I know that Emily has left an incredible heritage behind for her daughter and Jason will have his hands full as he begins to find a new "normal" but what a picture of a loving mother and wife she has left for everyone. It also makes me wonder what kind of heritage I'm leaving behind for those around me.

Many More Monkeys, Many More Drums, Dum Ditty, Dum Ditty...

Oh my goodness! I have to say that I never realized how many people read my insane ramblings about our family. I've lost count of how many comments I've gotten wondering if I'd given up on the Blog or if the kids had just tied me up and thrown me in the trunk "Earl style." However, I'm still alive and kicking and just taking some time to readjust to figuring out how to wrestle alligators (Annie), tame tornadoes (Dasha), and be sensitive to a ten year old who is taking his job as "man of the house" a bit too seriously all at the same time.

For those of you who didn't know, our nanny walked out on us a few weeks ago and it really sent me into a tailspin. Looking back, though, it was a blessing in disguise. Annie is now staying with an incredible lady while I'm at work. Annie has really blossomed in just the last few weeks with her. Some days, it seems that she's blossomed into a stink weed but she has really excelled with her new sitter! At ten months, Annie is now walking, babbling nonstop, and eating anything that isn't bigger than she is. Her nickname is The Goat! I don't want to think about how much dog food or how many Nerf darts she's ingested over the last few weeks! I guess we're going to go with the mantra, "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger!" She should have a stomach of steel!

Due to the nanny drama, I had to re-enroll Dasha in public school. Although she was doing great with our home school curriculum, there aren't too many resources for sitter options during the day for an 11 year old! However, when I re-enrolled her, I had her placed in resources classes which are smaller and move at a slower pace. I can't tell you how hard this decision was. I think I just figured that some magic light bulb was going to go on and Dasha was going to catch up with her peers and be able to tow the same load that the others manage. I had to come to the moment of realization that Dasha is a unique individual and she simply needs some more directed studies to fill in all of those missing gaps from being in a institution for the first seven years of her life! Honestly, I think somewhere deep down inside, I just never thought that one of my own kids would have to have special education services. I'd just concocted such a negative opinion of the whole special education idea. Bottom line, I had to deal with my own skeletons in the closet before placing Dasha back at Little River but I know she's in very capable hands and is receiving what she needs at this very moment in her life.

Dasha is happy to be back in school when it comes to the social aspect. However, she's not too fond of the 5:45 wake up call and having to be responsible for remembering her books and tools. However, these are life skills that we need to work on and so we shall!

Grant, as usual, is trying to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders. Grant has always been an old soul but with Eric being in TX, Grant has taken on the roll of "man of the house." He tries his best to make sure all of the girls are taken care of and has even offered to let Annie sleep in his room so I could relax. Although I love Grant's tender heart, there are times when I wish he'd simply be a kid! He and my dad have spent a lot of time together and just competed in the Boy Scout Pinewood Derby Race and came in 3rd place! I think my dad is living vicariously through Grant sometimes but my dad still believes that Grant is nearly perfect in every way and dotes on him beyond belief. Some times, I have to wonder if this is really the same man who raised me. My sister and I never had privileges such as spray painting on the front porch but with Grant, anything is ok if he's happy.

As for me, I'm still teaching at Little River and will finish the year out. It is trying to keep three kids on schedule and semi-clean but as I've learned, kids are incredibly resilient. I figure the bigger kids are already keeping some sort of list of topics to discuss with a counselor later in life so I figure I'd better make it worth their time! I've learned that dishes will patiently wait in the sink to be washed just as laundry will pile up in the hamper. The dog hair in the carpet is just added cushioning for Annie's bum as she toddles around and plops down at intermittent moments. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or cereal can suffice for dinner as long as it's served with a smile and smushed peas under the high chair simply serve as a little snack for the dogs. However, I can't ever get these days back with my kids no matter what our circumstances are so laughter and love will reign supreme as we dance around in hairy carpet with our dirty clothes on!

Believe it or not, I am taking on a bit of a new challenge, too. I've been asked to write a blog about family life. I have to say that I thought it was a joke at first. Those of you who have seen our "family life" first hand know that we're not traditional and sure not rated G at most moments! There's usually nudity (Annie), violence (Nerf darts), and depending if Eric is home, bodily noises. Anyway, if you need another laugh or just need some reassurance that you are going to win the Mother of the Year award, check it out http://happilyeverafterfornow.blogspot.com/. I've had some technical difficulties (the kind that stand at your knees and scream until you pick them up) so things are getting uploaded slowly.

And then, there's Eric! E is still in TX with Chick-fil-A. He loves his job! He's getting acclimated to the area and I'm sure the area is still trying to get acclimated to him, as well! He is currently working two weeks in TX and then working here in ATL for one week. This is a tremendous help for me! Instead of wondering if the light flashing in my eyes is the light at the end of the tunnel or a train headed straight for me, I know when he'll be home so I can plan activities for the family or a solid escape route for myself!

Hopefully, that gives everyone a quick update of the antics around here! I'll try to do better to get things updated before the kids head off for college!

Seasons of Change

Wow! So many things can change in the span of one month! If someone had told me all of the things that the Randolph clan would be doing and preparing to do, I would have told them to peddle their craziness elsewhere! However, we still seem to be stuck in this Season of Change. Each year, as I prepare our family Christmas card, I laughingly write that we're still in our Season of Change. First, there was the loss of Ansley. Then, the appearance of Dasha. Then job changes, house changes, and church changes. If that wasn't enough, throw in an unexpected pregnancy and a diva baby! Obviously, that doesn't seem to be enough for our crew!

For the last 18 months, Eric has worked from the house with a marketing firm. He loved the work and learned the ins and outs of the internet realm. However, we knew that his time with the company was drawing to a close and we were looking for and preparing our exit strategies. Having Eric work from home was a perfect solution for our family, though. He was able to keep very close tabs on our little monster, Annie, and enjoy some stolen moments with her each day.

While all of this was going on, Dasha began to struggle both physically and academically at school. (See my previous post about this whole situation). After much thought and prayer, we decided to remove Dasha from the public school system and home school her. I was terrified. I already had too much on my plate with a classroom of 22 students, a baby at home, and a son who didn't need to feel left out! (Not to mention a husband who also didn't want to feel left out)! However, we knew it was the right decision. SO, we unenrolled Dasha and filed the petition to home school. I started her off with quite a mix of materials. Math from 2nd grade. Reading from 3rd grade. Science and social studies from 1st grade. Whew! Filling gaps is a full time job! However, I was able to structure her day so that for the most part of the day while I was at work, she'd be doing independent activities. Eric was there to oversee so things went smoothly and Dasha loved it! She was (and is) finding success! In her own words, "My heart is happy."

(Imagine you hear the Jaws theme music in the background at this point).

Just when things were going smoothly and we had developed a business strategy for Eric, a good routine for Dasha, Annie was beginning to sleep through the night, and I was even beginning to ponder job changes, we got a phone call. Actually, Eric got the phone call.

It was a marketing job offer from Chick-fil-A in TEXAS! Unlike some of the other offers which he's received from out-of-state companies, I knew this was the real deal! As he relayed the details, I mentally started preparing myself to tell my family and my current life, "Adios." I really think all of the other offers he'd received and turned down had been preparing me for the big one! I'd already done the drama of moving in my mind and knew what I was up against. For Eric, he'd be going to a city where he already knew everyone and could simply mesh right into the routine. My roots, however, don't transplant so easily. I'm not a social creature and the friends I do have are those that I've befriended over the last 30 years! And what about my job? It's unheard of for a teacher to leave the classroom mid-year. I can't tell you how mad I'd be if one of my kids' teachers up and left half way through the year! But, this plan is much bigger than me!

One of these days, I'm going to sit down and map out the clear hand of God which had guided (ok, sometimes pushed and pulled) our family. From the friends that have entered our lives due to Ansley's death, to job opportunities which arose because of those friends, it has all been part of a bigger Commission. (Yeah, I know that many people see me start using words like God and Commission and get antsy. Well, if you've got ants in your pants, close the screen and go wash your drawers). Eric and I have learned to be still and listen through our trials and tribulations and though we don't do it well, we know that we're clearly being lead away from Georgia. There's no point in either of us kicking and screaming or making lists of pros and cons. We know it's the right thing. It doesn't matter what we think. (Once again, for those of you overly educated folks who feel like we're less educated people because of our blind faith in God, stop reading or keep reading and find out why we can move our family 27 hours from everything they know and not have a single doubt)! Anyway, Eric accepted the job and things quickly progressed. Actually, I don't think the word should be progressed. The correct word would be snowballed!

We all flew to Lubbock, TX last week and checked things out. Texas, to put it bluntly, is flat and brown. In comparison with Georgia's changing leaves and sloping hills, I might as well be on Mars! However, Eric's buddies from college and his earlier Chick-fil-A years both live in Lubbock and work for (own) the same Chick-fil-A Eric will be working with. We stayed with them and Eric jumped in the saddle by helping prep for the Texas Tech game. Let me just say that Texas Chick-fil-As aren't like Georgia ones. When we got to the store, the line was wrapped around the store twice and there were employees outside taking orders with remote registers. We went inside but had to wait for a table. (I have to admit that I don't stick around in ANY drive through line if there are more than four cars)! Anyway, we saw the city, looked at some houses, and in general, Eric got psyched about the change and I started down the path toward a nervous breakdown! Reality is always a very sobering thing!

As the story continues, Eric's job with the marketing firm did putter out as we'd expected. So, we decided that it would be a safe financial move for him to go on to TX and start work while I stayed behind with the inmates and worked on getting the house sold or rented. Eric pulled out with the U-Haul on Thursday morning. Once again, reality doesn't always play fair. When you think things through and make those rosy plans in your head, they never include emotions. Nonetheless, we've survived our first weekend without Daddy and everyone is still intact. We even managed to trick-or-treat without having to call for back up! Eric will fly back and forth a few times before the end of the year. However, the flight is pretty financially restrictive so those trips have to be limited. Hopefully, we'll have the house situation figured out by the end of the year and we can all head to TX at that point. Until then, I'm just going to keep my eyes up and remember that this is simply still part of our Season of Change. (Hey, don't seasons usually end eventually)?

As a side note, Rita is still here watching Annie during the day so she's also able to stay with Dasha. For now, things are working well. I'm not sure what I'd do without Rita, though. I keep hoping she has some long lost sister somewhere in TX. I'm going to have to relearn how to do laundry, cook, and clean. (OK - maybe not RElearn. Maybe I'll learn how to do those things)!

Here's to Seasons of Change!

Annie's Red Dress

It's hard to believe that a year ago, the idea of being pregnant was just settling in over our family. There were so many questions about my health and the health of our baby. The biggest question in everyone's mind was, "Will this baby be sick, too?" OK, let's face it, we all wondered. Most people, kept their thoughts to themselves and silently wondered what we we'd gotten ourselves into. Others, those we call "true friends," just came right out and spoke their minds and said that they'd support us despite the health of the baby. However, as usual, my husband who doesn't mind taking great leaps of faith without calculating risks simply said, "It's in God's hands and there's nothing we can do to change it." Me, on the other hand, had to wrestle with this kind of faith. Yes, we've had to have a lot of faith over the last few years but, hey, they say hindsight is 20/20 and I was definitely trying to use hindsight to guide my steps. Anyway, my point is that even though I knew our surprise pregnancy was a definite blessing and gift, I had to wonder how I was going to face caring for another sick baby and ultimately burying her if things played out that way. Eric, on the other hand, continued to say that things would be just fine. (There were definitely days I wanted to knock his teeth out. I just wanted him to worry with me and roll in despair with me for a few minutes)!

So, as the due date neared, my family gave me a baby shower. We, of course, had long since given away all of our baby stuff and were starting over again. At the shower, my sister gave me three beautiful dresses for the baby. They were all frilly and gorgeous. These are the kind of dresses that you put on the baby when you arrive at the picture studio and you don't even wear them on the drive to the studio for fear some random liquid is going to bubble forth from the little volcano onto the dress and ruin it! At the shower, I politely thanked my sister and carefully folded the dresses back up and put them in the box.

The dresses were all 3-6 month sizes. I didn't know if our baby would be sick and if she would even live long enough to wear the dresses. At the time, I put anything that wasn't a newborn size in a plastic bin and tucked it in the closet. Yes, it is a morbid thought but that was my frame of reference and my reality at that time. So, the dresses were hung in the back of the closet with the tags still on them and the receipt taped to one of the tags. And, there they hung, and hung, and hung.

Last Saturday night as I was laying everyone's clothes out for church, I saw the dresses. How funny that I hadn't noticed them before now. However, I just had this complete moment of thankfulness which was followed by that ping of guilt for being so faithless. My Annie girl is now almost 7 months old, has tested negative for Pompe's, and will be around for quite some time to ensure that she turns each and every hair on my head gray.

I tell this story to let everyone know that, yes, I am still very protective of Annie. It was at this six month point when we realized that there was something seriously wrong with Ansley. There are many times when I watch Annie sleep (ha - that happens very rarely) and I wonder if Ansley would have had the same "hell on wheels" mentality that Annie does. We're convinced that her first words will either be, "MINE," or "NOW!" But I am still so thankful for the blessing of her addition to our family. Despite my own wailing and tantrums when she's crawling around and eating dog food and calling for someone to party with her at 2 a.m., I continue to count my blessings.

Though she is quite a handful, she wore her red dress proudly to church on Sunday morning. The nursery workers had no idea of the significance of the dress and simply said that the red color matched her personality and the color she turned herself as she screamed throughout her stay in the baby holding tank better known as the nursery. I just had to giggle and whisper a little prayer of thanks for Annie and her red dress.

Educating Dasha...

Believe it or not, it's been almost four years since Daria Contantina Yemelyanova became our Dasha Elizabeth Randolph. When we adopted Dasha, we didn't have any guarantees about the future - but we don't have that with our own biological kids! We didn't know if surgery would correct her feet. But, with time, great medical support, and the patience and support of a small army, Dasha now walks, runs, and jumps! Yes, she stumbles and falls but compared to crawling around and having callused knees like she did four years ago, she's made vast improvements. We, also, did not know what Dasha's mental capacity would be when we saw that first picture of her and knew what we had to do!

Dasha had never been in a school setting but embraced school life and showed her constant desire to learn more and please those around her! To this day, if there's a choice to check out early (thanks to Papa or Grandma), she'd rather stay at school and enjoy her friends and teachers. Of course, Grant, on the other hand, takes the early exit every time!

Over the past few years, Dasha has done her best to learn this crazy English language with all of it's exceptions and rules. She's worked to learn her math facts. And, she's done her very best to learn all about the world around her through science and social studies. When you consider that she'd never left the orphanage except to go to the hospital until she was seven years old, she had quite a lot of life experiences to make up for. We've tried our best to pack all of this into the four short years she's been here. Things such as learning the difference between your leg, knee, ankle, and thigh are confusing and why in the world is it ok to get up and go to the bathroom whenever you want at home, but not at school? Whew! The learning curve has been VERY steep but we've kept at it - with the help of friends, family, and many medial professionals! Throughout the journey, Dasha has kept her effervescent attitude about doing her best and persevering!

This year, though, has proven to be quite a battle. As the curriculum advances in language and content, Dasha is having trouble understanding the concepts. There are so many holes in her background knowledge that it's hard to add details when the main concepts aren't even there! For example, learning about weather maps and cold fronts and pressure systems is near impossible when you don't know about the water cycle and understand that clouds and air move through the air. These are not concepts you can simply sit down and teach in an afternoon, either! These are life lessons that you learn through observation and discussion! It's near impossible to understand the plight of the Plains Indians when you don't understand the foundations of America. (Can you imagine Dasha's response when I explained to her that some people didn't want the Indians on the land and tried to force them out of their homes)? Dasha's innocence blocks her from understanding many concepts, as well. This is also true when we constantly warn her to be wary of strangers. She doesn't have any concept of people with ill intent!

So, now our question becomes, "Is Dasha's mental capacity being impacted by her CP, her language development, or her sheltered background?" So many huge questions to ponder! We've tried the special education route and we don't feel like this is the answer! She is capable of doing work - she's just missing major cornerstones! We don't want her to think that she can't do it as is the unspoken excuse in many special education settings. General education in a class of 30, though, isn't solving any problems either! At this stage in the game, a teacher with 30 kids doesn't have time to go back and fill in those missing foundational gaps so the gaps just get bigger and bigger! Not to mention, changing classes and teachers for each subject is challenging for her mobility and means a new set of "unspoken" rules regarding classroom society at every change!

Bottom line, Dasha is falling farther and farther behind and we're in a quandary as to what to do. The best case scenario is a one to one ratio where someone can take time to make sure the foundation is laid solidly before anything else is built on top of it! I always think of the song about one man who built his house on sinking sand and the other who built it on a firm foundation! Some have said that home schooling is the answer. Yes, it does sound like a great solution but I really don't feel like I'm being called away from my mission field (aka my classroom) right now. There's absolutely NO way that Eric could home school Dasha, either! Those of you who know Eric can just go ahead and laugh out loud! Some have said that private schools would be more suitable because of their low student teacher ratios. Well, most private schools don't have the resources to educate Dasha because of her mobility issues. They see her as a liability. So, our problem remains.

Please understand that I'm not knocking public education. I'm part of that system and it's a beautiful thing when it's done right! However, Dasha doesn't fit the mold of the typical student and therefore, it's just not working! I can't expect a teacher with 30 students to go back and reteach Dasha every lesson and design lessons especially for her. It's not realistic. But, at this point, we're just waiting. We're reteaching at home, trying to encourage that spirit of learning despite continually getting failing grades, and doing our darndest of make lemonade from our current crop of lemons!

At this point, there's no conclusion to this story other than to say that we're simply waiting for direction. But, sometimes, waiting is the hardest thing to do!

Crazy train ... ALL ABOARD!

I just don't know where times goes! I suddenly have an 11 year old, a 9 year old, and a 6 month old! Here's a quick update on current stats of the Randolph clan...

Dasha is in 4th grade this year and thriving. Each day, she has to work three times harder than the other kids to keep up mentally, emotionally, and physically but she never complains! She continues to push on and work toward her goals. I've never met a kid with the determination that Dasha has! Her innocence also continues to be a light to those around her. She just doesn't have a malicious bone in her body! Physically, she's struggling right now because she keeps having massive growth spurts. Despite her injections of Botox to help keep her legs limber, we know that we're going to have to look at more invasive options in the near future to retain her current state of mobility.

Grant is the normal protective brother of his sisters. He's also in fourth grade and excelling. This year, Grant is actually having to study and work for his grade so we've had some new challenges such as admitting that we don't know it all and studying! Grant is involved with Boy Scouts and loves all of the outdoor activities! He's really beginning to become more independent and turning into a little (giant) man. He still has the tender heart that seems to be his trademark but is learning how to live within the world and maintain his boundaries. This is such a delicate tightrope act for him!

Then, there's Annie! I do believe we should have named her Annie the Destroyer! Annie now crawls and gets into anything she can! Annie continues to be the joy of everyone around her (except from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. when she turns into a monster). Annie definitely has her daddy's outgoing personality and his need for independence! She only cuddles when she's asleep! During the day, we have a sweet little lady who comes to our house and stays with her while I'm at work. Since Eric works from the house, he also has a big role in making sure she doesn't tear the house apart!

Eric and I are blessed to still have our jobs. He's still doing the "marketing thing" and I'm teaching 3rd grade this year! We're very grateful to have income during this period of time when so many people are without jobs!

Hopefully, this will catch everyone up who has asked for updates via the blog! Considering it has taken me three months to update the blog, I might should start on my Christmas cards now!!!

Movin' on up...

Where does the time go? When Annie made her entrance into the world at 5 pounds and 5 ounces, I couldn't imagine her in any way other than a snuggle bunny. (OK - I do remember ranting about the screaming and thinking thoughts that sure aren't anywhere near 'snuggle bunny.' But, just as time seems to erase labor pains, it also erases those blood curdling screams that make you want to ask the OB if there's some type of reversal procedure in which the baby can be reinstalled and wait to come out until it's potty trained and can clearly tell you what she wants)! Reality check!!! While I can still count on snuggles with Annie before bed time each night and at that 3:00 a.m. feed that she won't drop, she's getting much more independent! She has leaned to scoot by digging her toes in the floor (or your lap) and pushing off. Grant and Dasha are beginning to see that life as they have known it might just be over! Though Annie watches what brother and sister are doing very carefully, she also keeps a close eye on their toys. A few nights ago, she decided that she needed some of the brightly colored Legos that were littering the living room floor where someone's creation had exploded into zillions of pieces. It was at that point that I knew we would need to do nothing less than wrap our entire house in bubble wrap once she really gets moving! With Grant, we only put the silly little plastic covers over the outlet and put a latch on the cabinet under the sink which housed our limited supply of cleaning products (who needs too many products when you don't use them anyway - Lysol wipes can clean anything and everything)! With Annie, I do believe we may have to resort to baby gates, latches, covers, locks, and possibly barbed wire! I'm even beginning to eye Kovy's crate in a new light. Hmmm... I know there's going to come a point in the near future when a crib can't contain the mighty Annie but maybe a dog crate could. :) Just kidding - in case DFACS is reading this! Bottom line, Annie is much more active than Grant ever was and I can see that I'm going to have to be on my toes as she begins to cruise around! Even as I write this, I'm watching her via the video monitor and she has scooted herself into the corner of her bed and can't quite figure out what's going on. Hmmm... she just hasn't leaned the importance of plotting a course in which you don't run into walls or the side of the crib! She needs a good GPS! (Side note - our GPS has begun saying, "You are not on a road. You are not on a road." The kids love it)! Once again, in case DFACS happens to be reading this, the baby is not in her crib wailing or even crying. She's simply cruising around and exploring while she makes gurgling sounds which truely sound something like, "ANNNNNNEEEEEE." Miss Independent must make her nightly rounds checking her crib prior to deciding that it's time for sleep. As we're learing, as long as the mighty Annie thinks it was her idea, there will be peace in the valley! Now, if I could just convince her what a marvelous thing sleeping through the entire night would be! However, I'm still ok with her 3:00 a.m. choice since Cosby Show and Home Improvement are on Nick at Night and I can at least be entertained while she snacks! However, if she decides to wake at 2:00 a.m., it's just not convenient for me because there's nothing on except ShamWOW commercials and reruns of shows I never watched such as Married with Children and George Lopez. (As another side note, have any of you seen the smut that comes on the cartoon channels at night? It's really scary)!

Many of you have asked about our plans for the mighty Annie once school starts. Well, many of you know the little Latino lady who cleans our house, Mrs. Rita. She has five children of her own and has a heart of gold. She's always looking for extra work so we asked her to watch Annie during the day and she has agreed. There will definitely be some obstacles to overcome like her broken English and inability to drive. She also lives deep within her Hispanic culture and has some child rearing practices that make us scratch our heads! For example, just after Annie was born and cried constantly, Mrs. Rita insisted that we give Annabelle a bath with lettuce leaves in the water. She said that it would make her tummy feel better! We didn't do it but I have to admit that I was close to trying anything! I did succumb to giving her a bottle of diluted Chamomile and peppermint tea at one point, though, per Rita's instructions. I do believe it helped with her tummy. I know the leftovers sure helped settle my nerves! However, the benefit of having Annie stay at home with one on one care is priceless to us. Since Eric works out of the house, he will also be able to spend more time with Annie, too. I think the real deal sealer came when Mrs. Rita told Eric that she would contine to cook (she cooks authentic Mexican like she's making something as routine as mac n cheese) and clean. What a blessing she has been and will be to our family!

Now that the princess has finished her royal nightly tour of her crib and has settled down with her little blankey and is sleeping peacefully, I'm going to work on my own classwork! Three more weeks and I can scratch all of that paper writing and reading off of my "to do" list! Good night!

Waiting...

It seems that Eric and I have spent a large part of our married lives simply waiting. We've waited through some pretty tough situations. I've seen way too many studies that try to pinpoint the actual amount of time that we spend waiting. One study says that if you lived 65 years, you'd spend about half of those years waiting. Is waiting really such a bad thing? When you wait, you have time to reflect (unless you have all of the kids with you). When you wait, you have time to watch others around you. When you wait, you have time to simply be still. Isn't it funny that something annoying as waiting is the only thing that slows us down sometimes? And, I have to admit that with the advent of the iPhone, even those quiet moments of waiting have now been invaded with emails and phone calls. (As a side note: iPhones should come with a free coupon for family counseling! They sap the need for real communication and interrupt even the most intimate of moments)!!! Anyway, back to waiting...Eric and I spent weeks waiting for a diagnosis of Ansley's disease. We waited for her to slip from this Earth. We waited for confirmation of Daria's (Dasha) first visit from Russia. We waited for a date to go to Russia and pleed our adoption case. We waited for a date to return to Russia to accept Dasha into our family. We waited to see how the surgery on her feet would impact her life. We waited for eight months to meet Annabelle. We waited to find out if Pompe's Disease would effect her. And, though I haven't mentioned waiting on Grant...if you've ever taken him to a restroom, you know we wait on him, too! While unfocused waiting can bring frustration, when we're waiting on something specific, the quiet time can be precious. So now, as we wait, we will wait with patience and purpose (and I'll hope the iPhone has a disastrous meeting with a flushing toilet)!

Let summer begin...

As my maternity leave drew to a close, I was both anxious and excited about going back. Considering I only went back for the last two days of school and then three days of post planning, I don't know why I'm griping! However, the last two days of school are usually the most trying with parents and students so I really set myself up for a tough time! Leaving Annie wasn't as hard as leaving the first two! Mom watched her a few days and the sweet little Hispanic lady who cleans our house watched her the other days. I think the caregivers were the ones who ended up wishing they hadn't accepted the positions! Annie gave them both a run for their money! OK - so Grandma didn't get paid "money" but can I just say that she also did laundry and cleaned while watching the baby! Man! What a happy camper I was to come home to a clean house, clean laundry (Grant and Eric had been wearing their undies the right way and then wearing them inside out to cut down on the laundry - just kidding - or am I) and the baby's room looked like a Babies R Us store exploded. However, mom cleaned everything up while keeping Annie entertained. Anyway, today was officially my last day of the 2008-09 school year so I'm relieved and ready for some relaxation.

Annie has finally settled into somewhat of a routine - thank goodness! When Grant was a baby, we hyper scheduled everything! He ate at precisely the same hour at each meal. He napped at predetermined lengths throughout the day and slept for eleven hours each night without fail. This fit very nicely with my perfectionist tendencies. As I look back, I know that Ansley never fell into a good schedule but I'd always assumed it was due to her illness. Now Annie, on the other hand, has no excuse. In my mind, she should be sleeping through the night, cooing at her perfect parents, and sleeping at my convenience. HA! It has taken me twelve weeks to realize that Annie has her very own personality and it's nothing like Grant's! Whew! She much prefers cat naps spread throughout the day to a couple of big naps. (You can imagine how conducive cat napping babies are to getting chores done around the house)! She also prefers to snack and graze throughout the day instead of eating full meals. While I'm not ok with her snacking habits and am working diligently toward full feeds, she only looks at me and chuckles when I insist that she keep eating as her eyes fall shut and she smiles her little sleepy smile. How can you argue with that? Really, though, things are beginning to take the shape of a routine and that makes me happy. I can at least have a plan about when I'm going to get a shower or fix the big kids lunch - although Uncrustables have become a staple in our home for lunch on the go or lunch when mom is negotiating with the baby. Though my plans don't always mesh with Annie's plans, we're beginning to meet in the middle about issues such as sleeping and napping. I've been putting her to bed at 8:00 which gives me time to spend with Grant and Dasha - or get the top layer of crud wiped off the household fixtures. Then, I sneak into her room about 10:00 and feed her again while she sleeps and she normally will sleep through until about 3:00 after that. My body seems to have adjusted to the 3:00 feeds and I've learned that the Cosby Show and Home Improvement are on Nick at Night chanels during the 3:00 - 3:30 slot so I'm entertained by my favorite families while I wait for Annie to dine leisurely. When I put her back down to sleep, she normally sleeps until 6:30ish. Over the last couple of days, this has given me time to get a shower and get the big kids ready for school before she announces that she has finished sleeping for the night. Beyond this loose schedule, everything else must fall into place. Thank goodness that summer is here and we can all work toward a more cohesive schedule with benefits everyone - not just Annie!



As for Grant and Dasha... They are happy that school is out but bummed that they were born to an educator. Both kids have already received their summer reading and math schedules (thanks to mom) and have expressed their grumbles of having to do work through the summer. Oh well. They'll get over it - or they can bring it up in therapy when they're older! :) Both kids are very protective of Annie. Dahsa likes to watch from afar and offers to be the gopher and rarely crosses through Annie's direct path. We haven't forced the interactions. I think she's afraid of making the baby cry. She still doesn't really understand why the baby cries for absolutely no reason. She runs to tell us when Annie is crying and seems to ponder why we would put her in her crib and let her cry at times. Dasha's mind is always processing but she doesn't always verbalize it and still has a hard time putting English words with some of her feelings. Grant, on the other hand, drags Annie around as if she's a baby doll. He will give her a bottle and even change her diaper in cases of extreme need. Having a baby in the house has really reinforced his nurtuing spirit. I'm afraid that some of his thoughts might change once Annie becomes mobile, though, and begins to be a threat to his Legos and elaborate G.I. Joe set ups! I've told him that his Joes need to start training now for special ops missions dealing with slober and being gummed to death. He doesn't find my suggestions funny.

As for the keepers of the Oompaloompas... Eric is still working for the advertising company and gets to work out of the house. However, for the last few days, I've found him out on the deck in a lounge chair with his laptop propped next to him and his tunes going. I keep waiting to hear stains of some Jimmy Buffet song when I see him out there like that! The reality of the situation is, though, that he works an enormous number of hours each week and seems to be "on call" 24/7. I guess he deserves a Cheeseburger in Paradise moment! Though I'm finished teaching for the year, I have two more classes to finish my degree. It's been a long haul and I plan on partying in some sort of way at the end of July! It's a real bummer that teachers have to report back to school at the end of July - that puts quiet a damper on any real partying! (Ok, who am I kidding? Partying to me is a book on a quiet beach)!!!

As usual, the Randolph compound is still thriving and surviving on humor and laughter while living in chaos and baby spit up. Though the grass in the yard might be a little high and the dog hair in the carpet might be a little thick, we're all happy and enjoying this Season of our lives!