Monday, December 10, 2012

Ramen Noodles and Oh, Christmas Tree




Oh, where to begin. This is a compilation version of blog entries. For only $19.99, you’ll get two for the price of one. We’ll start with the Ramen Noodle side of the story and then move to the Oh, Christmas Tree part.
One thing that I had to learn right fast and in a hurry when I started this journey was how to manage money. I had never paid bills and had never really budgeted. I went from living la vida loca on the fluffiness of two incomes to living la vida pobre on one income. (Aren’t you impressed with my Spanish)? I won’t lie. Those first few months were terrifying. I was like Dave Ramsey on steroids. I recorded every single thing I spent. I tucked away every penny I found. At one point, I worked three jobs to try and keep everything current. I will never forget as long as I live the first time I took the kids out to eat on the “new and improved” budget. I had a coupon for Folks. (Don’t judge. They put some good coupons in the weekly mailer). Anyway, we got online and looked at the menu and the prices and actually wrote down what everyone would order. I knew to the penny what I’d be spending including the tip. With cash in hand, we headed out. When we got there, I found that the local menu differed a bit from what was on the national website. Crapola. There we sat in a booth in the back of Folks restaurant and I was trying to recalculate and figure out how to survive this mission impossible situation with my pride intact. Somehow, we managed thanks to kids’ meals and water but I learned a very valuable lesson that day. It’s impossible to plan any outing down to the penny with three kids in tow. Leave fluff room. When you round, round up – way up! That whole debacle was one of my defining moments that put me on my way to financial freedom. (I’m not sure that freedom is the right word but…)
So, I didn’t attempt going out to eat with all three kids again for several weeks. I continued to track spending and look for ways to cut expenses. I cut the internet speed back. I cut the cable package back. I changed cell phone companies. I started using coupons. I made it work. I won’t lie. It was very hard. I’d work at school all day long and tutor and then edit and copywrite into the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, those five loaves of bread and two fish somehow fed us and kept all of the bills paid. (Now, I guess this is the time to admit that my parents footed many of the kids’ extracurricular activities that I would have never been able to fund and there’s still a hitch inside of me when I realize that I couldn’t afford to give my kids what I considered the basics that I always felt were necessities even though they really weren’t – like music lessons and scouts. My pride is definitely still dented).
Now? Well, it’s not like the state decided to give me a huge raise and I can now afford to drive a luxury car and eat at fancy joints every night. I’ve learned about the Ramen Noodle effect. Never heard of it? That’s because it’s my own creation. Do you remember the big craze several years ago with the WWJD paraphernalia? Everyone was on the bandwagon to filter things through the statement of, “What would Jesus do?” I’m not doubting the impact of that but the WIERN principle is what drives my financial decisions these days. Will I eat Ramen Noodles? Is this splurge worth eating Ramen Noodles at the end of the month? Go ahead and laugh. It’s sort of a joke around here. While I haven’t let the kids see me wrestle with the big stuff like how I’m going to pay a surprise balloon bill from Sallie Mae, I have made my attempts at budgeting and making wise decisions a part of our daily lives. When Grant wants to go and eat at a local Mexican restaurant (with a coupon, of course), he knows that I might tell him that Ramen Noodles would taste much better. Last weekend, the girls both needed outfits for various reasons. We went to Old Navy with our coupons in hand and Annie picked up a pair of boots and asked, “Do we have enough money to buy these?” At first, yeah… deep breath. At first, my heart hurt that my three year old even understands that there might not be enough money. But, after some deep breathing and some quiet time alone, I realized that there shouldn’t be any shame in a toddler understanding that money is not unlimited and that we have to manage it carefully. 
Anyway, WIERN means financial peace for our family. It keeps things in focus. There have been very few things that I would say were worth eating Ramen Noodles for, though.
That brings us to the Oh, Christmas Tree segment of this walk toward the nut house. While I’ve subscribed to WIERN, I still struggle with some of those wants that I have. Heck, I’m a woman. I see pretty things and I want them. I see things I want for the house. I see clothes. Wait a minute. Let’s get real. I see chocolate. (I don’t see dead people like that weird kid, though).
That being said, I absolutely love Christmas and decorating the tree is a big deal for me. I “inherited” hundreds of glass Radko ornaments a few years back and I can create a beautiful tree with those outrageously expensive ornaments, lights, and ribbon. I should say that I could. Past tense. Last year, I found myself at a really low point after Christmas and I actually tossed my very expensive and beautiful fake Christmas tree. I loved that tree. We bought it at Michaels and it was like something from a designer showroom. The cat had chewed through some of the little white twinkle lights but that poor branch could be stuffed in the corner. Like I said, I tossed the whole tree into the garbage and cried that Friday morning when I watched the garbage man toss it into the truck. What the heck? I had seriously lost my mind. When I finally untangled the lights from the bushes out front, I simply tossed them into a box. Nothing was put away with care. What a disaster.
This year, ugh. I disregarded my WIERN mindset and went to find another tree. I was willing to eat Ramen for two months in order to replace that tree. However, I had no idea what fake Christmas trees cost – especially 7.5 foot tall ones with beautiful full branch with tiny little pinecones and white twinkle lights. $300. $350. I’d be eating Ramen for a year! Heck, I’m not sure I could even afford Ramen!
I really tried to do the responsible thing and talk myself away from the ledge. I got online and found a tree at WalMart for $60. (Yeah, if Dr. Phil is reading this, I’m aware that I was avoiding the situation by simply shopping online. No duh)! The tree arrived and the kids put the tree together with exuberance. (I stood by and watched the kids put the little puny thing together). They were all so excited. I was choking back tears. This was the epitome of a Charlie Brown tree. I haphazardly wrapped a few strands of lights on the darn tree and decided that I really didn’t even care. Lie. Liar. I did care. I didn’t put those beautiful ornaments on the tree. I seriously said to my mom, “That tree isn’t worthy of those ornaments.” Geez. What a brat I am. There are so few things that I actually am persnickety about these days but the tree… That night, I disassembled the tree and stuffed it back in the box. That was the weekend before Thanksgiving. The kids awoke to a treeless living room. I promised them that I’d get them a better one. They all looked at me like I was stupid because the first tree had been perfect to them.
Last Friday night, my mom watched the kids and I went tree hunting. I sort of felt like Miss Kay from Duck Dynasty looking for the perfect tree. (Except, I don’t think she would have to worry too much about the price tags). So, I started at Big Lots. Nope. I went to Old Time Pottery. Double nope. Then, I headed to Garden Ridge. No way. Hobby Lobby. Nope, not even with a 40% off coupon. WalMart. Nope. I went home empty handed again. Grant was camping but the girls were visibly disappointed.
Saturday morning, I heard the doorbell ring. By the time I’d gotten downstairs, all I saw was a tree propped up against the outside of the sidelight. A real tree. I've never had a real tree before because I can't take care of feeding the cat. Why would someone think I could remember to water a tree? Deep breaths.
My daddy (with kidney stones moving about and Vicadin) went and bought me a tree. He is my Achilles heel. I admit that I’m crying as I type this. For as brutish and manly as he may seem, I think his heart is bigger than three normal guys put together. He didn’t even risk waiting around for me to open the door. He dropped it and ran before any emotional moments transpired. A few hours later, he snuck back by with a tree stand and left the tree sitting in the living room in the stand still bundled by net. At that point, I didn’t give a crap what the tree looked like. (I did have a major fear of opening the tree and a squirrel jumping out of it Lampoon Christmas style). So, the tree is now covered with lights and garland. I’m not going to put the glass ornaments (I'm certifiably a brat) on it but we now have a tree standing in the living room that the kids love and I can honestly say that the tree fell well within my WIERN boundaries and it was a tree given out of a daddy’s love for his grown daughter that he still tries to protect and baby. 
So, there’s the Ramen Noodle story and the Oh, Christmas Tree story rolled into one big mess. However, I think the mess gives you a pretty good indication of where I’m at this Season. I'm a mental brat that would eat Ramen Noodles in exchange for my dream Christmas tree. I wish I'd had a neighbor who hoarded and had rescued that tree from the garbage last year! Here's to WIERN and a Christmas Season full of the important things (not including the tree).

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